"The weight of this crisis will not determine the destiny of this nation. The answers to our problems don’t lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and universities; in our fields and our factories; in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth."

"Over the next two years, this plan will save or create 3.5 million jobs. More than 90% of these jobs will be in the private sector – jobs rebuilding our roads and bridges; constructing wind turbines and solar panels; laying broadband and expanding mass transit."

"I know there are some in this chamber and watching at home who are skeptical of whether this plan will work. I understand that skepticism. Here in Washington, we’ve all seen how quickly good intentions can turn into broken promises and wasteful spending. And with a plan of this scale comes enormous responsibilit...

"So the recovery plan we passed is the first step in getting our economy back on track. But it is just the first step. Because even if we manage this plan flawlessly, there will be no real recovery unless we clean up the credit crisis that has severely weakened our financial system."

"This time, CEOs won’t be able to use taxpayer money to pad their paychecks or buy fancy drapes or disappear on a private jet. Those days are over."

"To support that innovation, we will invest fifteen billion dollars a year to develop technologies like wind power and solar power; advanced biofuels, clean coal, and more fuel-efficient cars and trucks built right here in America."

"This is me right here. See if the line is a little empty…if it's full over here I'll go over here. That's how it works. If Wendy's has a long line I'll go right across the street to MickyDs."

"This time of year I got to have the Tasty Cakes because I never know when I'm going back to Philadelphia. I keep a constant supply of Tasty Cakes in my locker, couple at home, but more so when I'm at work."

"Over the years we have my touchdown balls. They're scattered throughout my house and I think these are 7 touchdowns from 1997 or '98."

"The country is in a panic, now. They may not like the way the Congress passed the stimulus bill. The idea that government is going to have no role in this...in a moment where only the Federal government is big enough to do stuff...to just ignore all that and say government's the problem...corruption, earmarks, wast...

"As the president made clear this evening, we are now in a time of challenge. Many of you listening tonight have lost jobs. Others have seen your college and retirement savings dwindle. Many of you are worried about losing your health care and your homes. And you are looking to your elected leaders in Washington for...

"Thank you for listening. God bless you. God bless Louisiana. And God bless America."

"This is the Jack McBrayer response to the internet response to the Republican response to the President's address to Congress."

Jimmy: "The first thing I want to ask is how the babies are doing?" Nadya: "They are wonderful. They are doing great. In fact I'm feeding some of them right now."

"The Bears are what they were. They're what we thought they were."

"That's why Towelie says don't forget to bring a towel."

Three

Two

Team Rocket rules

The world will be mine

Too good for ya?

Too good for ya?

Congratulations, you've won a Thunder Badge

Team Rocket: "Team Rocket", James: "Lets go"

Jessie: "Jessie,", James: "James,", Meowth: "Meowth, that’s right"

Terran Research Complete

And you've learned to use your illusion

Hassaa de Tempalari

I heed thy call

I find your lack of control disturbing

I see you have an appetite for destruction

It shall be done

My path is set

State thy bidding

Your thoughts betray you

Terran Upgrade Complete

"This war is lost."

Uhhhh uh.

"Now the signs have appeared again. The evil has returned. Only one chosen warrior has the power to defeat this threat."

"Recent poles have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

A long time ago, when the Earth was green There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen They'd run around free while the Earth was being born And the loveliest of all was the unicorn There was green alligators and long-necked geese Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees Some cats and ra...

If the Boogies in ya it's got to come out...

I've always had this terrible relationship with coworkers. I just cannot get along with average people. They get on my nerves so much that I have to confront them and tell them I hate their guts or not talk to them.

They're the most ruthless form of life on earth. Journalists they're the evilest mosy uncaring fuckheads, the most bitter people I've ever... they just suck. I have absolutely no respect for anybody who's a journalist.

"Let me lay it on the line, he had two on the vine. I mean two sets of testicles so divine."

"The Juggernaut is back. I'm the Juggernaut!"

"But I'm the Juggernaut bitch. Splat!"

"There's no words there. To play us out? What does that mean? To play us out."

"That's tomorrow and that is it for us today. I'm Bill O'Reilly thanks again for watching. We'll leave you with Sting and a cut off his new album."

"Tat's tomorrow and that is it for us today. And we will leave you with…I can't do it. We'll do it live."

"The whistle goes whoooo!"

"That's it and that's all man. We do it for decoration."

"That's only in the morning."