"Look, mister, there's... two kinds of dumb, uh... guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don't matter, the second one you're kinda forced to deal with."

Jimmy Chitwood: [to crowd] "I don't know if it'll make a difference, but I figured it's time for me to start playing ball." George: [as crowd is cheering, points to Dale] "I told you, once we got rid of him!" Jimmy Chitwood: "But, there's just one thing... I play, Coach stays. He goes, I go."

"Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt!"

"What's the story here, I'm a white trash idiot? The end."

Railroad Boy #1: "You wanna fight you little queer?" Joe Dirt: "Queer? Is this queer? These queer? What's up? What's up?"

"They clean the bowl so you don't have to…"

Kid: "Oh look the janitor's gonna eat the puke." Joe Dirt: "They're hilarious, huh? I assure you I won't. I'm a vegetarian and it looks like there's some meat in there."

Olive: "So that's when you tried to kill yourself." Frank: "Well no, the boy that I was in love with fell in love with another man, Larry Sugarman." Sheryl: "Who is Larry Sugarman." Frank: "Larry Sugarman is perhaps the 2nd most highly regarded Proust scholar in the US." Richard: "Who's number 1?" Frank: "That would...

Grandpa: "Are you gettin' any? You can tell me. Dwayne, are you getting any?" Dwayne: [shakes his head no] Grandpa: "No? Jesus! You're what? 15? My God man. You should be gettin that young stuff! That young stuff is the best stuff in the whole world."

Frank: "Wow Richard, you really opened my eyes to what a loser I am. How much do I owe you for those pearls of wisdom?" Richard: "Oh that one is on the house buddy." Frank: "It is?"

"What a horrendous flight. This is Russia? Don't look so tough Rock."

"Eh, when does the sun come up? This is detrimental to my sinuses."

Paulie: "I have a bad dream here." Rocky: "Paulie it's okay." Paulie: "Okay? This is below human standards, there's not antennas you gotta complain! We're trapped out here!"

"The Russian just threw Rocky Balboa into his own corner like a ragdoll."

"Rocky Balboa is in serious trouble. They might have to stop this one before somebody gets killed."

McCauley: "What am I doin? I'm talkin to an empty telephone." Van Zant: "I don't understand." McCauley: "Cause there is a dead man on the other end of this fuckin line."

Vincent: "K, let em go." Cop: "What do you mean? We can take them on." Vincent: "What? On what? What are you gonna take em on? Breaking and entry? They didn't steal anything yet."

Vincent: "So then if you spot me comin around that corner, you just gonna walk out on this woman, not say goodbye?" McCauley: "That's the discipline."

Rocky: "When I come here, you don't feel so comfortable and I certainly don't wanna do that." Robert: "Well you throw a big shadow."

Paulie: "You're mad because they took down your statue?" Rocky: "No."

"It takes guys climbing back in that ring knowing you're gonna take a beating."

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you till your knees and keep you permanently if you let it."

"Every time you hit him with shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissin the express train."

"He is the fighting pride of Philadelphia, the two time heavy weight champion of the world. The Italian Stallion, Rocky Balboa."

Announcer: "This guy's showing up in shape." Dixon: "The old man's crazy." Trainer: "Yeah well he's gotta be crazy, he's in here." Dixon: "Okay." Trainer: "You just take it easy, it's an exhibition alright." Dixon: "Alright alright." Trainer: "Give it to him."

"Hey Paulie, that beast is gone now. The beast is out."

"They called him Frankie Coffeecake because his face looked like a Drake's coffee cake. He was tough to look at."

"Danny K.O loved to knock guys out and Bobby Bars spent half his life behind him. This was Sonny's crew and noboyd fucked with these guys."

"And I was getting two educations, one for the street and one from school. That way, I'd be twice as smart as everybody."

Calogero: "Sonny was right. The workin man is a...is a sucka dad, he's a sucka." Lorenzo: "He's wrong, it don't take much strength to pull the trigger but try and get up every morning day after day and work for a livin, let's see him try that. Then we'll see who's the real tough guy, the working man is the tough guy."

Sonny: "There's only three things you can do in the joint kid. Lift weights, play cards and get in trouble." Calogero: "What did you do?" Sonny: "Me? I read."

"Trouble is like a cancer, you gotta get it early. If you don't get it early, it gets too big then it kills you. That's why you gotta cut it out. Capisce?"

Calogero: "Sonny, you don't understand." Sonny: "No, I do understand. This shit is not for you and those fuckin kids are only gonna get you in trouble." Calogero: "Yeah but they're my friends, you know that." Sonny: "They're jerk offs. Look at me. Jerk offs."

"What the fuck man? What the fuck? These fuckin spooks can't ride in their own fuckin neighborhood?"

"You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, once every ten years. Rocky Marciano, Sugar Ray Robertson, Joe Lewis."

"The saddest thing in life is wasted talent."

"I heard Tom Wolfe is speaking at Lincoln Center. Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him."

Gloria: "We're all here together, safe and sound." Melman: "Yeah, here we are. Where exactly is here? San Diego." Gloria: "San Diego?" Melman: "White sandy beaches, cleverly simulated natural environment, wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks. (He taps a roc...

"They are savages. Tonight we die."

"Okey-dokey, Maurice, I admit it. The plan failed. All is lost! We are all doomed."

"Behold the awesome power of Mount Vesuvius. The toggle switch isn't toggling."

Wilbur: "Special Wilbur Robinson of the TCTF." Lewis: "The what?" Wilbur: "Time Continuum Task Force. I'm here to protect you."

"To the future!"

"If my family finds out I brought you from the past. They'll bury me alive, and dance on my grave. I'm not exaggerating. Well, yes I am, but not the point."

Bowler Hat Guy: "Big hand is on the, oh 2 o'clock." Receptionist: "You're the 2 o'clock?" Bowler Hat Guy: "Yes, yes I am." Receptionist: "You're Mary Johnson?" Bowler Hat Guy: "Mary is short for …" Receptionist: "Marion?" Bowler Hat Guy: "Can that be a boy name?" Receptionist: "Yes." Bowler Hat Guy: "Then yes!"

Lewis: "What does Cornelius look like?" Wilbur: "Tom Selleck."

"Talking frogs with their own little outdoor bar. And so smartly dressed … perfect!"

"Heh heh."

"There's your roommate pal."

"Yoshi dachi…"

"So, you are Yuri, the trainer who trains."

Dialect Instructor: "To." Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Twa." Dialect Instructor: "To." Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Twa?"

"There she is, newspapers!"

"It's Clouseau. Arrest him. Which one is he? That would be him."

"Time's run out, Jack."

Tia Dalma: "Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you." Jack: "Dirt? This is a jar of dirt."

"Let them taste the triple guns."

Gazzo: "Tomorrow collect from Del Rio, he's late three weeks and I don't like it." Rocky: "Tomorrow, three weeks, Del Rio, alright I got it. Del Rio, how do you spell Del Rio?"

"Tough day today you know, they took my locker away. I had that locker for about six years. It don't bother me none. Lockers are bad anyway after a while people get the combination. I must have had twenty bucks taken outta there in that past six years you know."

"Do you remember Marie? No who is she? Ah, she's the little whore who hung down the atomic clothing shop. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah now I remember her. You see, they don't remember you, they remember the rep!"

Gazzo's Driver: "Take her to the zoo. I hear retards like the zoo." Rocky: "Eh this bum gotta say that?" Gazzo: "Back it up, back it up." Rocky: "I'm calling you a bum!"

"Yo Adrian, these are the exotic animals I was tellin you about. These are my friends Cuff and Link."

"This is the first time the champion is ever been knocked down."

Carter: "Ain't no use man. Just tell me how the Triads are going to kill us." Lee: "They will torture us for three days." Carter: "I can handle that." Lee: "They'll cut our eggrolls." Carter: "They'll cut our eggrolls! Hell no! Let's get the hell out of here. Come on man. Don't give up."

Lee: "Yes, there are a lot of men chasing us." Versace Salesman: "As well they should be."

"All you got to do is pull that trigger back and bam!"

"Time to take your pill. Not that one. That one."

"This is the man who killed your husband. His name is Flint Marko. He's a small town crook who's been in and out of prison."

"This is a free country. It's not rent free country."

"Parker? Miss Brant. That's not the position I hired you for."

"Do I get to say thank-you this time?"

"Tally ho."

"Those eyes, those horrible yellow eyes!"

"That's quite enough of that, thank you very much."

"The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him."

Etheridge: "The DCD was Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture." Chancellor Adam Sutler: "Add it to the blacklist. I never want to hear that music again."

"There are, of course, those who do not want us to speak."

"While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there?"

"There are no coincidences, Delia. Only the illusion of coincidence."

"My fellow Englishmen, tonight, our country that which we stand for and all that we hold dear faces a grave and terrible threat. This violent and unparalleled assault to our security will not go undefended or unpunished. Our enemy is an insidious one, seeking to divide us and destroy the very foundation of our great...

"That's impossible!"

Lucius: "I still say your making a mistake." Taylor: "That's the spirit, keep em flying." Lucius: "What?" Taylor: "The flags of discontent. Remember, never trust anybody over 30."

"Everybody is on their feet screaming: kill, kill, kill! This is hockey!"

Reggie Dunlop: "You cheap sonofabitch. Are you crazy? Those guys are retards." McGrath: "I got a good deal on those boys. Scout said they showed a lot of promise." Reggie Dunlop: "They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em." McGrath: "I'd rather have em playin with their toys than playin with themselves." Reggie Dunlo...

Mrs. McNerney: "Welcome to the family, Tom." Tom: "Thank you, Mrs. McNerney." Mrs. McNerney: "Oh you can call me Pussy now." Tom: "Thank you… Pussy."

Sarah: "Oh my God tomorrow my parents are going to know I'm not a virgin anymore!" Tom: "Sarah, no… You haven't been a virgin since college." Sarah: "I know. I know. But tomorrow they're going to know for sure that I'm not a virgin. And they're going to know that you deflowered me, oh God!"

"Mexican food… That's an oxymoron."

Sarah: "Jesus! Is that a Thunderstick A-200?" Tom: "Since when did you become the expert?" Sarah: "I told you about that night I had in college." Tom: "You didn't tell me about the hardware." Sarah: "Getting a visual?" Tom: "Let's charge this thing."

Tom: "Let's go to the HoJo's honey." Sarah: "There are no HoJo's here, Tom." Tom: "Sarah! Please."

Bernardo: "But you're too young to be married!" Peter: "Hey…" Sarah: "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

Wendy: "Oh my God this is like the twilight zone!" Tom: "I couldn't agree with you more."

"The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino, and you're laughing?"

Margot: "I think you should go with red. It's the color of confidence!" Serena: "I don't understand why you are completely disregarding your signature color." Elle: "He's proposing! I can't look like I would on any other date. This is the date. The date I'll always remember."

We all thought she'd be the first to walk down the aisle, and now, she's totally adrift.

Elle: "Reading about the LSATs." Serena: "My cousin had that. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your…"

I know you're upset about all this, but can't you just take a Perkaset?

So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?

Now you're thinking like a lawyer.

"Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life."

"That's why you're famous. That's why everybody knows your name. You're the boy who lived."

"The third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to all who do not wish to die a most painful death."

"Hmm… Difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you…" Harry:"Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!" Sorting Hat:"Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great you know. It's all here in your head. And Sly...

"Troll in the dungeon! Troll in the dungeon! Thought you ought to know."

"I see that your friend, Ron, has saved you the trouble of opening your chocolate frogs."

Daniel: "I'm a little relieved." Sam: "Why?" Daniel: "Because I thought it would be something worse." Sam: "Worse than the total agony of being in love?"

"They're not funny, they're art."

Eleonore: "Am I sad or not sad?" Jamie: "I think you're not surprised."

"I love that word relationship. It covers all manner of sins, doesn't it."

"Back broken, from too much sex."

"Well step aside ladies. This one's on me."

"Oh Jesus, not that crap again!"

Michael: "The La Trattoria means The The Trattoria." Gina: "I know."

Elderly Bidder: "And left me some money." Michael: "Your father? That must have been a terrible shock."

Michael: "This is your fault." Frank: "Hey, you know I've been on your side every step of the way." Michael: "Well, you know, if you were a plumber, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"What's the matter? We burst your little town and country bubble here?"

Frank: "I thought he was in witness protection?" Al: "Took us seven years. Tracked him and whacked him."

Frank: "Sometimes I wonder what kind of a person you think I am. " Michael: "I think you're the kind of person who knows the trick for carrying a dead body."

Jane: "So that's settled then, yeah?" John: "Okay."

Jane: "There was a struggle over the material. Some little tea sandwhich of a man got his hands on them first, but I won." John: "Oh course you did."

That's cool man.

Let's see if I can't get a tune outta this thrombone.

Waitress: "That could be arranged." Eddie: "Perfect. Could be arranged, you hear that? I'd like to have her kick my ass. You know what I mean."

But they all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham, they hurt you.

Thought I'd just drop in. Hi doll, thanks for giving me the shaft.

John: "That left of yours. Thing of beauty." Jane: "You take it well." John: "Thank you."

Maybe this honesty thing isn't such a good idea.

Number 6: "All of this has happened before." Man: "But the question remains, does all of this have to happen again."

"My wife asked me to take up ball room dancing and I told her I don't dance…"

"Here's the thing, we're talking about what to do with these children. There's no question that there are down sides to every potential option."

"There are risks leaving 14 children in the same home with a single mother. There's no question about that."

Dr. Phil: "You've got an offer to do a porno tape for a million bucks." Nadya: "That's publicity. That's just their way of trying to…stir up the pot with more sensationalized lies."

John: "312? How?" Jane: "Some were two at a time."

John: "Tradecraft 101." Benjamin: "I'm sorry, I guess I skipped that day. Just like I guess you skipped the day about not marrying the enemy."

We'll talk about this later.

John: "I mean, I'm not gonna lie to you, there've been times when I just wanted to (click) killer her, but uh." Jane: "Likewise."

Rusty: "So how was the clink? Did you get the cookies I sent?" Danny: "Why do you think I came to see you first?"

Rusty: "These are Terry Benedict's places." Danny: "Yes they are. Think he'll mind?" Rusty: "More than somewhat."

Danny: "The Mormon twins?" Rusty: "Hmm. They're both in Salt Lake City, six months off the job. I got the sense they're having trouble filling the hours."

Danny: "Which one is the amazing Yen?" Rusty: "The little Chinese guy."

Danny: "Why do they always paint hallways that color?" Rusty: "They say taupe is very soothing."

Tess: "You're a thief and a liar." Danny: "I only lied about being a thief."

"Tess is with Benedict now? She's too tall for him!"

"In fact, I'm staying in your hotel. I have two words for you: mini bar."

"Ted Nugent called. He wants your shirt back."

"Wait! That's my husband!"

"Wake up, time to shop!"

"He is a tough old bird."

Edward: "Could I have another word please?" Vivian: "Asshole, there's a word."

Vivian: "Take the day off." Edward: "Me not work?" Vivian: "Yeah."

Reese Bobby: "And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here.", Schoolteacher: "Okay, I think that's enough." , Reese Bobby: "Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong because it's the fastest who get paid and it...

Texas Ranger: "How much more of this?", Lucy Bobby: "I don't know. How many more times are you gonna to toss me the radio in the bathtub?"

This bull dyke has got something against us.

Eleanor: "One of you is already dead, after all." Steve: "Who? Oh you mean Esteban? Yeah thanks for bringing that up."

Anne-Marie: "Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?" Steve: "Yeah we're taking a short cut."

Steve: "How many fingers am I holding up?" Ned: "I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell."

Steve: "What do you want?" Jane: "Nothing." Steve: "That's so arrogant. That's… Screw off."

Dammit Steve! This sucks.

Messenger Boy: "They say you can't be killed.", Achilles: "Well, I wouldn't be bothering with the shield then, would I?"

Achilles: "They insulted one greek . . . A man who couldn’t hold on to his wife

Paris: The sun was shining when your wife left you.

Menelaus: This is not honor! This is not worthy of royalty!

Achilles: [to Birseis] Trojan soldiers died protecting you. Perhaps they deserve more than your pity.

Glaucus: My prince! The boatman waits for us! I say, we make him wait a little longer!

"That just happened!"

Evan: "You got 2 dozen hand jobs." Seth: "Yes, and three quarters of a blow job but who's counting."

"I'm just saying she looks like a good fucker, ok. She looks like she can take a dick."

"I hang out in my basement: the chill zone. That's where you chilax, like relax and chill all at once."

"I took this class because I thought I'd be cooking with a partner. But she's never here and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work."

"Cause everyone's just like I heard about this party but we shouldn't tell Fogell about it. And I was like, we should totally tell Fogell and that way you can buy us booze now, that's awesome."

Slater: "So it's just McLovin'." Fogell: "Yea." Michaels: "That's badass."

"Well I hope your friends are ready to get fucked up."

"He's young but the force is strong in this one. Learning you are young padawan."

"Welcome to the thunder dome."

"Tiger got out of the cage, man."

"All you guys take note, that's how you take down a mother fucker."

"You used my leg as a tampon."

"That's how I roll."

"The alternative is to stand pat and to simply say we are just going to not invest in health care, we're not going to take on energy; we'll wait until the next time that gas gets to $4 a gallon; we will not improve our schools, and we'll allow China or India or other countries to lap our young people in terms of the...

"I'm going to throw the next weigh in and send myself home. I'm done."

"By the way I just want to take a second here to thank everybody who sent in their well wishes and congratulations on myself getting married to Regina Lasko last week. Thank you."

David: "Critics are now criticizing his overuse of the teleprompter. Okay. Maybe he should think about stepping down. Overuse of the teleprompter. So we put together a piece here tonight it's entitled Teleprompter vs. No Teleprompter. Take a look." Obama: "This was the time when we performed in the words that are ca...

"Hi, I'm Susana and this is Debbie from The Bangles for RADD: recording Artists, Actors and Athletes against drunk driving. What does it mean to be a designated driver? It actually takes guts and shows you care about your friends. After all their lives are in your hands. So why don't you and your friends take it in ...

"The president has his greatest power coming out of his electoral mandate on day one. And how you establish priorities in those first few weeks are very important for your entire presidency," Badger said.