Character 1: "The tools are very fat. If I get sent down, It all gets handed back to cut my sentence. Now to cut my sentence even more, I could tell them who done it with me if I wasn't very happy about everything." Otto: "What was the middle thing?" Character 2: "Piss."

"Shows that what I said was true…"

Kendra: "So now I'm too skinny for you?" Dave: "No no no no no, I didn't mean that." Kendra: "Is this what you want Dave?" Dave: "No." Kendra: "If I put on a few pounds, will you be able to stifle your vomit long enough to have sex with me?" Dave: "Holy shit." Kendra: "Are you such a hot stud that you're gonna break...

Dave: "She doesn't know any Andreas. Do you mean Andrew?" Buddy: "Yeah, that's it, Andrew, the testical with legs." Dave: "The testical with legs, Great!"

"You know uh, I'd like to talk to you alone for a second. There's a rage control technique I'd like to go over with you right now."

"Dr. B., Davey just pulled a joke on us!"

Buddy: "So, why do you feel you have to appologize because you're suffering from T.A.S.?" Frank Head: "Um, T.A.S.?" Buddy: "Toxic Anger Syndrome." Frank: "Ooh." Dave: "I don't have T.A.S.." Buddy: "He's angry. It's a sickness not a crime Fran." Dave: "His name is Frank!"

"Great! Can I throw up now?"

"We are both swingers, you see. You have a tight body. Yes! I see that from your tight pants. Yes, you are tight like a tiger."

"There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intollerant of other peoples' cultures, and the dutch."

Goldmember: "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, this is a keeper. Oh, yes." Dr. Evil: "Ah right, you're not gonna put that skin in your mouth are you? You did, okay, that's just gross." Goldmember: "Yes, salty. Yes, that was good."

"My word, you're a tripod. What do you feed that thing? It's like a baby's arm holding an apple. The good news is, you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand."

"Are we done here? I've gotta take a crap."

"Oh, my titties!"

"The tiny one can't take a hint. He doesn't understand he is small."

"I threw up in my mouth a little bit."

Clark: "Look at it." Ellen: "It really is beautiful Clark." Clark: "It's something else huh Russ?" Russ: "Yeah Dad." Clark: "Isn't it a beaut Audrey?" Ellen: "She'll see it later honey. Her eyes are frozen." Clark: "The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith ond kin. This...

"This is what Christmas is all about. I'll uh, park the cars and check the luggage, and uh, I'll be outside for the season."

Cousin Eddie: "The house sure does look swell Clark." Clark: "Thanks Eddie. I hope it enhances you holiday spirit. Dear Catherine... Eddie?" Cousin Catherine: "Oh, the house is gorgeous Clark." Clark: "Eddie?" Eddie: "I hope you didn't do all this on our account Clark. Kids, come on out here and see what Uncle Clark...

Russ: "Mom?" Ellen: "What?" Russ: "This box is meowing." Clark: "Let me see it. (He shakes up the box and the cat meows.) She wrapped up her damn cat!"

Mr. Shirley: "Remember how I was toying with the idea of suspending the Christmas bonuses?" Mrs. Shirley: "You didn't. Well, of all the cheap lousy ways to save a buck." Swat Commander: "That's pretty low mister. If I had a rubber hose, I would beat you into a..." Mr. Shirley: "I changed my mind. I'm reenstating all...

Clark: "It's the Christmas star, and that's all that matters tonight. Not bonuses, or gifts, or turkeys or trees. See kids, it means something different to everybody, and now I know what it means to me." Uncle Lewis: "That ain't the friggen Christmas star Gris. It's a light on the sewage treatment plant."

"He knew what went on at that cab stand and every once and a while I'd have to take a beating. But by then, I didn't care. The way I saw it, everybody takes a beating sometime."

"That's what the FBI could never understand, that what Paulie and the organization does is offer protection for people who can't go to the cops. That's it. That's all it is, they're like a police department for wiseguys."

Karen: "The bag, the bag." Henry: "What? What bag?" Karen: "The bag with all the envelopes in it, all the money." Henry: "Oh, don't worry about that. No one's gonna steal that here."

"Taxi!"

Hitch: "Tonight I want you to meditate on the image of an iceberg. Do you know why I want you to do that?" Albert: "Because I'm cool?" Hitch: "No." Albert: "I know, I'm not. I..." Hitch: "Uh, I'm saying that you are an iceberg in that over 90% of your mass is below the surface." Albert: "I know I'm heavy. I am." Hit...

Max: "So, uh, Sara tells me that, uh, you're a consultant, Hitch." Hitch: "Yeah, uh, mostly marketing, a little advertising, brand management." Max: "I have no idea what that means." Hitch: "No one does. That's why I get to charge so much."

Your site design is the first thing people see it should be reflective of you and the industry easy to look at with a nice navigation when you can't find what you want it causes frustration a clear Call to action to increase the temptation use appealing graphics they create motivation if you have animation use with ...

P Unit Foreva P Unit P Unit what’s up fellas? Yo yo where my WASPs at? M V Martha’s Vineyard Holla back Tell Buffy to chirp me Sip sip Yo! Straight out of Cape Cod We’re keeping it real We’re going to have a party makes the ladies squeal We’re going to turn it on with our parents’ riches We’ll serve Smirnoff raw ...

"Mmm. Mmm. Mmm."

"Yes we can. Thank you Satan. Thank you Satan."

An interview with Carl Elkin, creator of Moses Is Departing Egypt: A Facebook Haggadah

Silly customer, you cannot hurt a twinkie!

"I'm going. I'm going to start a new tribe it's going to be 10 times better. It's going to be called muscle tribe of danger and excellence. So who's with me?"

"Rush listen, I voted Republican and I really didn't want to see Obama get in office. But you know Rush, you're one reason to blame for this election, for the Republicans losing."

"The second big issue was the torture issue. I'm a veteran. We're not supposed to be torturing these people. This is not Nazi Germany, Red China, North Korea. There's other ways of interrogating people, and you just kept harping about, it's okay, or it's not really torture. And it was just more than water boarding. ...

"African Americans are nearly twice as likely to suffer a stroke as white Americans. There are steps you can take to help beat the odds. 1-888-4Stroke or go to StrokeAssociation.org. Join the power to end stroke. Brought to you by the American Stroke Association and the Ad Counsel."

"The audience at the Apollo is twice as likely. Many listeners to this radio station are twice as likely. It's called the odds and the odds are african americans are nearly twice as likely to suffer a stroke as white americans. There are steps you can take to help beat the odds start by calling 1-888-4Stroke or go t...

"The audience at the Apollo is twice as likely. The people at my family reunion are twice as likely. My classmates at Morehouse College are twice as likely. Many listeners to this radio station are twice as likely. It's called the odds and the odds are African Americans are nearly twice as likely to suffer a stroke ...

Kathie: "Stick around for the 10 o'clock hour with…we'd love that. You too Matt." Matt: "Do me one favor. Can you do me one favor. Can you take your hand off that shoulder please. If you could just gently, that would really help me. Thank you." Kathie: "Good bye."

Biden: "So what did you bring me?" Obama: "Well we didn't have much time for shopping Joe." Biden: "What?! Oh no not even a duty free Toblerone for ole Joe here. No I'm kidding sir."

Seth: "As I said before I'm not gay." Man 1: "Well Seth I suggest you Google yourself pall of mine because the jury is in."

Jenna, I just want you to know, that if we find any human remains in there I'm gonna throw up all over your face.

They may take my dignity but they will never take our straws!

Someone put too many farts in this engine! It's about to explode!

You'll do fine so long as you follow my 3 d's. Discretion, docility and don't use my bathroom.

Fine, 30 minutes, I'll make some sounds and you can say one weird thing to me. Alright hardball, 30 minutes, sounds, top front of my body is now in play, deal?

"I am aware of it, I have a google news alert for the phrase, Tracy Jordan ridiculous disaster."

Kenneth: Allo, studio 6H, this is Cranston. Tracy: Oh Cranston, I was looking for Kenneth. Kenneth: He's not here. But I'm sure wherever he is he loves you very much!

Kutless- Take me in

"So this was them in the wild rumpus. Howl! Howl!"

"Uh oh. Those wild things, they can be a little scary. It’s alright they end up back in the bedroom."

"Does everybody see the wild thing? Look at that. That’s a wild thing. It’s like a dragon looking wild thing."

"And when he came to the place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth And rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws"

"These old bones can't take it anymore!"

Who would have thought that the thing that would save this company would be work...and pancakes.

This is your future. Hello, I am your future. You're older and you are very happy now because you went with Michael Scott right? So everybody come on down and let's just crawl outta here together.

This is a dream that I have had since lunch and I am not giving up on it now.

D: You want me to translate the German instructions for you? P: No, I'm sure they're pretty much the same as the English intructions. D: Psh, typical American arrogance that got us involved in a war we never should have been in. World War II.

I was bored of my gaming, I'd been playing too long From Project Gotham to Halo, I'd even tired of Pong But then I picked up a new game, one my friends never knew I put a post on the forums to try to find player two: "If you like Viva Pinata, but you feel all ashamed Your friends don't understand you, because you l...

Verse 1 My new Xbox console won't turn on I think there's something seriously wrong My ring of light is just flashin' angry red I think that means my 360 is dead Well I'd heard they die easy from a broken parts disease I should have bought extended warranties Now it really seems such a waste I still had lots of har...

Randy: "Now son Daddy needs to teach you something very important about tells." Stan: "Tells?" Randy: "When you tell them you only used the approved kit, don't look up and away, don't rub your neck and don't touch your ear. Otherwise they'll know you're lying to them. Alright? Whenever you need to lie don't look up ...

"Then he asked me why you flip out? Well I didn't jump off the Empire State Building, I dind't buy a white bronco, I didn't do the OJ Simpson thing, I tookt he high road."

"Have the Conservatives in just 2 and a half months out of power become everything that they hate about the loony left? Lets stress test this protest. The right complains bitterly of the left's use of celebrities and musicians and children as props at their protest. So you wouldn't ext to see Northern Exposure's Jan...

“The whole history of science has been the gradual realization that events do not happen in an arbitrary manner, but that they reflect a certain underlying order, which may or may not be divinely inspired.”

"Woke up today, it was another lovely day to watch the sun rise and fall again from my window. The touch, the feel, the fabric of our life. The touch, the feel…fabric of my life."

Just think, an hour ago they were brolin in the parkin lot but tonight, they're gonna be stars!

the detainee is lying on a gurney that's inclined at an angle: 10 to 15 degrees a cloth is placed over the detainee's face cold water is poured on the cloth the wet cloth creates a barrier through which it is difficult or in some cases not possible for the detainee to breathe if the detainee makes an effort to def...

Let this be the hour, where we draw swords together

"Well Drew you know it's Earth Day. And I want to make sure this showcase is not only great but also green. Anybody you know that can help us out?" Drew: "Yeah, how about my good friend Ed Begley Jr." Ed: "Great to be here Michael. I've got three amazing prizes that are also great for the environment. First it's an ...

"Every hour I think of you, I need you once more"

"Can I depend on truth or prepare for another lie..."

Waldorf: There' something wrong with this hearing aid. Statler: Yeah what's wrong? Waldorf: I can't hear with it. Statler: No wonder, it's too far away.

Statler: Did you see that? Waldorf: Yes, the frog is certainly taking a beating on this show. Statler: It's hard to feel sorry for him, we take a beating every show.

Waldorf: You know it's too bad Gonzo's leaving the show. Statler: Yeah, I can think of some other people I'd rather see leave the show. Waldorf: Who? Statler: Me!

This song commemorates the defeat of Edward II by Robert the Bruce at Bannockburn in June 1314 and the fiercely independent Scottish spirit. 1. O flower of Scotland When will we see Your like again That fought and died for Your wee bit hill and glen And stood against him Proud Edward's army And sent him h...

Hey! what do you know about the song and the dancing a wind. That boy is looking at you and he says that he knows your kind I see you dancin' but you never ever mark your words Hey! what do you know i think youve gotta do this up again Have you ever, felt so lonely In this cold, World so cold Have you ever, felt so...

"Logs, logs, logs. Lumberton, USA."

"There are knowledge and opportunities in life. Sometimes it's necessary to take a risk."

Jeffrey: "Here's to an interesting experience." Sandy: "I'll drink to that."

"In our day they used to sing. That rap mess ain't nothing but talking. It will never last. Remember black and white tv? Gone. Remember 8 tracks? Gone. Meta Max? Gone, gone, gone. Yeah."

"No no no. See you don't understand. The cool thing about George Jefferson was that he hated every white person he ever met. Unless they had a check for him. Tom Willis come over - door would slam right on his face. As soon as soon as someone had a check for him - Hey Wheezey fix him up a plate!"

Albert: "Then we did a little thing called the Bag Heads." All: "The Bag Heads! The Bag Heads! The Bag Heads!."

Albert" Then we did a little thing called the Overweight Lovers." All: "We're fat. We're fat, we're fat, we're fat."

"We take Gusto's image, make ourselves into hard core rappers. Then we take stories from Gusto's life. Get Trustus Jones to handle us."

"No, nigga, turn around and eat yo' big ass biscuit!"

"MC Gusto, you gotta help me get my revenge. It's one thing that they killed him on the toilet but they could've wiped his ass. They didn't have to leave him there like that. That's cold-blooded. They gots to pay. They... got... to... pay!"

"The word ho can only be used in reference to a garden tool."

"The word blowjob can only be used in describing a job in blowing up balloons or children's animals."

"The word bitch may be used only to describe female dogs, and then only when in heat."

"The truth is that you are terrified of losing Sally Michaels because then you'd have nothing to hide behind and you'd have to stand on your own two feet."

"I think you are way too talented and gifted and unusual to let anyone keep you from standing."

Sophie: "And that's exactly why I'm going to tell her what I think at the party." Alex: "No, you are not going to do that." Sophie: "Yes I am." Alex: "No, you're not." Sophie: "Yes. I am." Alex: "Well, in that case you are no longer invited."

"The song is about the struggle, you know, to show your true feelings, and your very confident sexual display is, you know, a total contradiction to the fear and insecurity."

"But thank you for your honesty, Sophie. I cherish your passion."

"Now listen to me. Those kids have told all of their friends that their aunt wrote Cora's new hit song, and they want to share this with you - you've gotta go in."

"Oh no. Never bit the hand that feeds your mouth… Whatever."

Robin: "Aren't you one of those guys?" Quinn: "What guys?" Robin: "Those guy guys, you know, those guys with skills?" Quinn: "Skills?" Robin: "Yeah, you send them out into the wilderness with a pocket knife and a q-tip and they build you a shopping mall. You can't do that?" Quinn: "No, I can't do that. But I can do ...

Robin: "They are magnificent creatures." Quinn: "And I hear they taste just like chicken." Robin: "Chicken?"

Quinn: "That God damn plane? Robin: "Yeah." Quinn: "That's a commercial airliner. It's five miles high going 600 miles an hour. They wouldn't see a nuclear explosion if they were looking for it, much less a flare!" Robin: "How the hell was I supposed to know that? If you hadn't drunken yourself into a coma you could...

Frank: "You know how some people say you don't know what you had until you lose it?" Angelica: "Uh huh." Frank: "That's a load of crap. I knew what I had."

Quinn: "I thought that's what women wanted." Robin: "What?" Quinn: "Men who weren't afraid to cry. Who were in touch with their feminine side." Robin: "No, not when they're being chased by pirates. They like them mean and armed."

Quinn: "Because I may not be conscious when it comes time to land this thing." Robin: "Oh shit."

Quinn: "How about my place?" Robin: "Oh yeah your little house on the beach." Quinn: "Um, more like a shack actually…" Robin: "Shack?" Quinn: "It's not much." Robin: "You do have a bed, don't you?" Quinn: "Are you going to be this fussy about everything?"

Oh they're critics, Mel. They hate themselves.

You called the Sheriff? You know that old bastard hates me.

Like I could tip a cow, by myself.

Jake: "You might be taking me to the cleaners, for all I know." Melanie: "The cleaners, you?"

Just grab a stick, let's play some pool, alright? And if you can't find a cue, just pull the one shoved up her ass.

So, in honor of that act of stupidity, we all, we get together and recreate it for the tourists.

Earl: "The father's still at the other hospital, I mean he didn't speak back in, right?" Roy: "This ain't Star Trek Earl. Nobody beamed him aboard."

"Well take it off. All of it, right now."

"Thirteen years on the driving range and you still think this game is about your testosterone count."

"Are you crazy? Two middle aged bikers? They're tougher than the guys we just left in jail."

"From the moment I first saw you I knew I was through with bar girls and motorcycle chicks."

Holly: "I went to high school with a boy like you." Felix: "Who was he, the principal?"

Roy: "Ben Hogan, now who's he?" Molly: "I find him mildly attractive when he's obnoxious and arrogant like this." Romeo: "Good! That's his best side."

Molly: "See that's the question: why?" Clint: "Because he broke all of his other clubs."

Blanche: "How will we know what's going on?" Oscar: "I'll tell him to talk loud."

Morty: "Every time you had a conflict between work and home, work won." Michael: "No, not true." Morty: "Lie to your wife. Lie to yourself. But you can not lie to the remote. The remote is lie-proof."

"There is violence in Chicago of course but not by me and not by anybody I employ and I'll you why, cause it's not good business."

King Leonidas: "Spartans tonight we dine in hell."

Persian Emissary: "This is blasphemy. This is madness." King Leonidas: "Madness? This is Sparta!"

"This is where we fight. This is where they die."

Sophie: "I'm just here to cater to the plants." Alex: "And you are doing a fine job, if I may say so; although, that one is plastic."

"The tale of a student with exalted literary aspirations who lures a brilliant writer into an affair so she can take advantage of his connections, but when he tries to break it off, she devotes herself to ruining his life."

"You know, I'm tone-deaf."

That's not my wife Warden. I keep asking her, and she keeps saying no.

"The red man is a fearsome enemy. If he had had his way, this scalp of mine would be long gone and there'd be a balder man standing before you today."

"You see the emperor is mad for all things western."

"They say that the samurai sword is his soul."

Gant: "The bastards are still wearing armor, ha ha ha." Simon Graham: "Yes, and when the Irish were still comporting themselves in loincloths, these chaps were already the most sophisticated warriors on earth."

Algren: "I suppose we should be grateful they are all firing in the same direction." Gant: "Couldn't have put it better myself sir."

Colonel Bagley: "They're savages with bows and arrows." Algren: "Whose sole occupation for the last thousand year, has been war."

Algren: "Then what do you want?" Katsumoto: "To know my enemy."

"The tiger's eyes are like my own, but he comes from across a deep and troubled sea."

"Just tell me one thing, what is it about your own people you hate so much?"

Algren: "How's your poem coming?" Katsumoto: "The end is proving difficult."

Emperor Meiji: "Tell me how he died." Algren: "I will tell you how he lived."

"I hate a woman who talks like Muhammad Ali."

"California. My sister lost three pairs of dentures in the earthquakes."

"Why, when you get around me, do you start to behave like a God damn imbecilic, idiotic, totally moronic shithead?!?"

Felix: "What the hell makes you think there would be a telephone anywhere out here? This is probably where they test those nuclear bombs." Oscar: "Well they would have to call somebody to see if they went off, wouldn't they?"

Felix: "What the hell was that?" Oscar: "They purposely did it. They hate New Yorkers."

Barbara: "Well she's got talent." Mitch: "Talent? She was in one play and she fell off the stage. That's not talent that's gravity."

Arlene Berquist: "I'll call from the bedroom." Phil Berquist: "The bedroom? How the hell would you know where the bedroom is?"

"The food's brown, hot, and plenty of it."

"Bonnie, there's a stampede... in your tent!"

Curly: "Do you know what the secret of life is?" Mitch: "No, what?" Curly: "This." Mitch: "Your finger?" Curly: "One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit." Mitch: "That's great but, what's the one thing?" Curly: "That's what you got to find out."

Barry Shalowitz: "What do you think? What would be the perfect flavor with this meal?" Ira Shalowitz: "Cherry vanilla?" Barry Shalowitz: "No. If it was Chinese food, right on the money, but this? Toasted almonds." Mitch Robbins: "What's going on?" Ira Shalowitz: "Barry can pick out the exact right flavor of ice crea...

"Look at you, you're like this big tub of veil or something."

"If you open the ball on these people Mr. Ness you must be prepared to go all the way. Bause they won't give up the fight until one of you is dead."

Mitch: "Good morning, do you have good news for me." Barbara: "Tonight I'm gonna pull down your pants and sink my hands into your cute little ass and then give you a tongue bath. I'm gonna start at your feet and slowly work my way up…" Mitch: "Hell!?"