Howard's Mom: "And as far as my taking his rectal temperature every day 'til he was fourteen? He shouldn't make such a big deal! He still grew up to be a very well adjusted individual!" Howard's Dad: "Absolutely!"
"Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? How do you like to do it? Do you like to washup first? You know, top and tails...whores bath? Personally before I'm on the job, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a how's your father!"
"We must come to an understanding about who rules this kingdom!!"
Wyatt: "Go ahead, George, light it up." George: "Oh, no no no, I...I couldn't do that. I mean, I've, ah, got enough problems with the booze and all. I mean, ah, I can't afford to get hooked." Wyatt: "Ah nah. You won't get hooked." George: Y"eah I know, but I mean, it..it leads to harder stuff."
Joe: "Lucas......?" Lucas: "Joe.......?" Joe: "Where's the money?" Lucas:"Joe, the money is gone." Joe: "Yeh, I know it's gone. Where's it gone to?" Lucas: "Atlantic City." Joe:" Atlantic City?" Lucas:"Yeh." Joe: "Is it coming back from Atlantic City?" Lucas:" I...I don't think so Joe". Joe:" What's it doi...
Joe: "You all having fun?! I hope so! Don't let me stop ya. Keep dancin'. Cause you better do it now. Because, by next week, this is going to be a music town. And I don't think they allow dancing in MUSIC Town." Lucas:"What are we suppose to do instead, Joe?" Joe: "What am I going to do with this guy, uh? WHAT sho...
Lucas: "Who's your favorite singer? " Mark:"Axl." Lucas: "Well, if Axl Rose was driving down the highway and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road. Do you think Axle Rose would stop and help him?" Mark: "Does Axle have a jack?" Warren: "No way man, Axle would spin the wheel, take aim, pound the gas; an...
Cmdr Decker: "Don't interfer with it." (Alien electricity beam probes bridge) Chekov: "Absolutely, I will not interfere."
"AT LAST! I GET TO WHACK HIM!"
"I feel a presence. Another warrior is on the mesa."
"Whoooo Arrre Youuuuu?"
Mozart: "Why didn't they come?" Salieri: I think you overestimate our dear Vieneese, my friend. Did you know that you didn't even give them a good bang at the end of songs to let them know when to clap?" Mozart: "I know, I know. Maybe you should give me some lessons in that."
Mobster: "Do you think that those whales piss in that water?" Jelly: "No, I think they use the men's room next door to the Burger King.....dummy!"
"I won't bite....hard."
Louis: "Who're we calling, sir?" President: "I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of it's none of your damn business, Louis, I'll be with you in a second."
Last Verse of "When You Believe"
Pharoah Seti: "When I pass into the next world, then YOU shall be the morning and evening star." Rameses: "One damaged temple did not destroy centuries of tradition!" Rameses:" But ONE WEAK LINK CAN BREAK THE CHAIN OF A MIGHTY DYNASTY!!"
"I will not rest until I have you holding a coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game featuring you, while singing your own song in a new commercial starring you, broadcast during a super bowl game you are winning."
"What you're doing for our country is so cool! I mean, war man! Wow. War…you know? Wow."
Stan: "You guys!...Do you know where I can find the clitoris?" Kyle: "The what?" Cartman: "What? Is that like finding Jesus or something?"
Ray: "What's wrong, mom?" Dorothy: "First class is what's wrong honey. It used to be a better meal, now it's a better life."
Army General: "YOU TOLD US THAT WINDOWS 98 WOULD BE FASTER, AND MORE EFFICIENT WITH BETTER ACCESS TO THE INTERNET!" Bill Gate: "It IS faster! Over five million…"(general shoots him)
"You think you hate it now, but wait'll you drive it."
"Sorry folks, we're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry… uhhuh, uhhuh, uhhuh."
"The Mississippi broke through a protective dike today...what is..what is a protective dike? Is it a large woman standing by the river going (in burly voice) "Don't go near there!" But Betty! "Don't go near there...get away from the river! Stay away from there!" I know we can't say the word dyke, we can't even s...
"Cerrano's doing some interesting limbering up exercises in right...what a pansy!"
"Women...you can't live without 'em, and they can't pee standing up!"
"What exactly is your problem?"
Parkman: "What do you call that garbage?" Vaughn: "That's called the eliminator." Parkman: "The eliminator...?" Vaughn: "I got a new one I'll show ya...you get a piece of it, I'll let you name it." (Vaughn pitches the ball and Parkman hits it out of the stadium.) Parkman: "I'd call it the masturbator."
"We work for a highly funded, yet unofficial government agency."
"We are the Men in Black."
"Wait a minute, we're stopping! What is this?"
"We know where you are at all times...that's our business."
"What did you have in mind?"
"What are you lookin' at?"
"What an unexpected and bloodcurdling surprise."
"Whoa-ho-ho! I don't play defense!"
"What's going on here?"
Carla: "Will you marry me?" Goodspeed: "Whoa, whoa. Way heh, marriage police pull over."
Vieira: "Governor, not to beat a dead horse here, but once again: do you believe that the campaign was dignified?" Romney: "Was it dignified? It was presidential. It's the way it's been ever since I've been around -- positive and negative in both directions. And I don't think candidates make a lot of progress by ...
"And we're going to win this election."
"We've got to be all about equality, the Constitution preaches. Todd is Alaskan and if you go up to Alaska, we have a problem with Todd being a minority up there. We live it."
"Now tomorrow, I hope, I pray, I believe that I'll be able to wake up as Vice President elect and be able to get to work in a transition mode with the president elect John McCain. I'm so anxious to get to work for the American people."
"e both recognize that, though we have come a long way from the old injustices that once stained our nation’s reputation and denied some Americans the full blessings of American citizenship, the memory of them still had the power to wound."
"Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans."
"Tomorrow, we must move beyond it."
"Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states. We are and always will be the United States of America."
"I don’t know what more we could have done to try to win this election."
"We never surrender."
"We never hide from history."
"We make history."
"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there."
"As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection."
"To those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you."
"To those who seek peace and security: We support you."
"When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can."
"At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can."
"She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can."
"So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?"
"When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can."
"I say to America, I say to America…we've heard you. Those who voted for us, we're going to do our very utmost to lead this country to a new and better direction."
Nobody flies without medication anymore - why shouldn't you enjoy the same luxuries as a dog?
White people stole Jazz, Rock and Roll, Will Smith, and Heart Disease! Now they think they can take my hard earned money.
Oprah: I want to help you - what can I do? Liz: Oh my god, would you say "Please welcome Liz LEMONNNNNNNN!" Oprah: No.
"But if he's willing to step up and say look if in the heat of the moment I said some things that were taken the wrong way I'm sorry for that lets all now work together and move on. I think we should do that."
"I think it was a wise choice that will only prove all the wiser as time goes one."
I'm not going to anticipate problems.
"You will hear people say that this is always what happens with a losing campaign -- and hopefully, frankly, this is the last time we're going to be talking about these people. But what they have done just in the last few days to save their own skins is worth a final comment."
I'm confident that a new President can have an enormous impact. That's why I ran.
I think people want to know who's going to make up our team.
"A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
"Have you seen my wiener?"
"Don't make me have to open up a can of whoop ass on ya! Hear?
Cop: "It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid. A one and a two and a…" Paramedic: "WE GOT A BLEEDER!"
Ted: "I just want you to be happy Mary." Mary: "But I'd be happiest with you." Ted: "You're fucking with me right? What about Brett Fav…ruh?" Mary: "What'd I tell you the first time we met? I'm a 9ers fan."
"What if this is as good as it gets?"
"Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn son of Arathorn, and I tell you now I will not bow to this Ranger from the North."
"We have only to remove those who oppose us."
"Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?"
"We're all here to do what we're all here to do."
"What do all men with power want? More power."
"I won't bite... hard."
"That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset... people DIE!"
"Shh! Even before you start. That was a preemptive Shh. Just know I have a whole bag of Shh with your name on it."
"The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why."
Grandman: "Sir, could I troulbe you for a glass or warm milk? It helps put me to sleep." Orderly: "You could troulbe me for a warm glass of SHUT-THE-HELL-UP!"
"Doing the bull dance. Feeling the flow. Working it. Working it."
"Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad just no one in this car, but allot of people that's their story good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good."
"Well, I'm sorry, but we don't open for the no sex oaths until 9AM."
"What's wrong with lumber, I own two lumberyards..."
"Wait up girls, I've got a salami I gotta hide still."
Lacey: "My uncle says you've got a screw loose." Ty Webb: "Well, your uncle molests collies."
"What kind of shit is this!" Spaulding: "It's the best man, I got it from a negro. You're probably so high already you don't even know it."
"Well this whole place sucks. sususus--That's right, it sucks."
"Ooh, my arm! I think it's broken." "Well, Sonja Henie's out. We'll take Danny Noonan."
"Well, we're waiting."
"He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a Mississippi Leg Hound in him. If the mood catches him rite, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning, though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let him...
Todd: "Where do you think your gonna put a tree that big?" Clark W. Griswold: "Bend over and I'll show ya." Todd: "You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold." Clark W. Griswold: "I wasn't talking to you."
Todd: "Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?" Clark W. Griswold: "Bend over and I'll show ya."
"Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced w...
"Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"
"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake."
Vultan: "My thanks to you." Flash Gordon: "Yeah, what for?" Vultan: "Well, for giving a dumb old bird a second chance!"
"What's your name, scumbag?"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Where in the hell are you from anyway, private?" Cowboy: "Sir, Texas, sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down."
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "What's your name, fat-body?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir." Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Lawrence? Lawrence what of Arabia?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, no sir!" Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "That name sounds like royalty are you royalty?" Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, no sir!" Gun...
"What's your name, fat-body?"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "When you two pukes are done here, I want you to clean the head." Joker and Cowboy: "Sir, yes, sir." Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:" I want that head so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump."
Hartman: "Jesus H. Christ. Private Pyle, why is your footlocker unlocked?" Pyle: "Sir, I don't know, sir." Hartman: "Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker, you know that, don't you?" Pyle: "Sir, yes sir." Hartman: "If it wasn't for dickheads like you, t...
Hartman: "And we love our beloved power ladies," Marines: "Semper five, do or die, gung ho gung ho gung ho." Hartman: "What makes the grass grow?" Marines: "Blood, blood, blood." Hartman: "What do we do for a living, ladies," Marines: "Kill, kill, kill." Hartman: "I can't hear you." Marines: "Kill, kil...
"What is your major malfunction"
Joker: "What do we get for ten dollars?" Da Nang Hooker: "Everything you want." Joker: "Everything?" Da Nang Hooker: "Everything."
"What we do in life... echoes in eternity!"
I'll tell you who has it the hardest: White Men. We make the unpopular, difficult decisions - the tough choices. We land on the moon and Normandy Beach and they resent us.
"Ed Weinberger actually wrote the first, he actually created the Sue Ann Niven's character."
"Seems like you'd be welcome to a flat tax, then."
"The real question is, who will make us better of four years from now?"
"That what we should be focusing on."
"World of pain."
"John, you didn't have to tell us, we know that!"
"We will end it responsibly."
"I didn't think we would ever agree to how it be written."
"We had been drinking."
"I've always done once again what I thought was morally right."
"People that I love are being affected by this. People who have defined who I am…which is…cannot happen."
"I think that the people of California just again have spoken on this issue and they went against it."
"I have twelve hundred people's lives in my hands, and I certainly don't want your life in my hands. I'm going to tell you, Christine, without me, life has no meaning. I'm the best thing you'll ever have."
"We've been so betrayed. We have been so terribly betrayed."
"We're all ready to go. If you tell us we have to give our lives now, we're ready--all the rest of the sisters and brothers are with me."
"We didn't commit suicide, we committed an act of revolutionary suicide protesting the conditions of an inhumane world."
"You know it did. I thought that it would be closer but then taking a step back and being able to consider why it was that the margin was a great as it was it makes sense. We didn't get the Hispanic vote and that was a very significant."
"And when you consider that we were outspent so tremendously it makes sense there also that perhaps the margin was going to be larger than we anticipated."
"Not me personally was…were those cheers for but it was just for the representation of woman on the ticket, a mom."
"Well I think you got to walk the walk and not just talk the talk."
"President elect Obama has a great opportunity and I really do wish him all the best. I am just as American as he is American."
"Uh, I probably will write a book."
"I will focus on what Secretary Gates and others have indicated is our number 1 security threat and that is Bin Laden and Al Qaeda. We will go after him. We will kill him or we will capture him."
"I simply think it maximizes the chances of getting progressive policies a better outcome if we have a Joe Lieberman, who is a little reticent, who apologizes for the things that he said that were way over the line, and instead is trying to do the right thing."
"The fact that he's willing to talk to a lot of people, from a lot of different walks of life, listen to a lot of opinions and still have a mind of his own is something that we should honor and admire."
Honey Ryder: "Well, there was this man who owned the place where we were living, he let me stay on for a while without paying. Then one night he came up to my room, well you know. I scratched his face and then, but he was stronger than I was" James Bond: "And what happened after that?" Honey Ryder: "I put a...
M: "Who is this girl?" James Bond: "Derval's sister, sir" M: "Oh, do you know where she is now?" James Bond: "Nassau" M: "Do you think she's worth going after?" James Bond: "I wouln't have put it quite that way sir"
[Two Ernst Stavro Blofeld's stand in front of Bond] James Bond: "It's hardly worth the effort, after all I wouldn't know which one of you to kill" Imposter: "We appreciate your predicament Mr Bond" Ernst Stavro Blofeld: "We deeply sympathise" [Bond kills one of Blofeld's] Ernst Stavro Blofeld: "...
[A funeral procession passes] Hamilton: "Whose funeral is it?" Kananga Henchman: "Yours" [Hamilton is stabbed]
[Sheriff J.W. Pepper sits in the AMC Hornet inside a car showroom] Sheriff J.W. Pepper: "How's about my demonstration boy" James Bond: "Certainly sir!" [Bond drives through the showroom window, misses lots of traffic, and drives down the road] Sheriff J.W Pepper: "What the hell is going on?"
"Why can't you just be a good boy and die!"
"Danny, what happened to your neck? DANNY, what happened to your NECK? (Turns to Jack) You did this to him, didn't you? You SON OF A BITCH! You did this to him! How could you?!"
“Welcome to Con Air!”
“Welcome to Pacific Tech's Smart People On Ice!”
“This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.”
"Reading and writing remain a part of the curriculum, so for your first assignment I'd like you to write your own obituaries. Not that I wish you were dead, at least not yet anyway."
"Excuse me while I whip this out."
"Hey where are the white women at?"
"What you see is what you get."
Margo: "And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?", Todd: "I don't know, Margo!"
"Welcome to the party, pal!"
"I wanted this to be professional. Efficient, cooperative, not a lot to ask! Alas, you Mr. Takagi did not see it that way, so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life."
Hans: "Who are you, then?", John: "Just a fly in the ointment, Hans, a monkey in the wrench, a pain in the ass.", Hans: "You have me at a loss. You know my name, but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne, Rambo, Marshal...
Sallah: "Please, what does it always meanm this 'Junior'?", Dr. Jones: "That's his name - Henry Jones, Junior.", Indy: "I like Indiana!", Dr. Jones: "We named the dog Indiana!"
"Excuse me! We're not togther!"
Inigo: "Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?" Fezzik: "If there are, we'll all be dead!" Vizzini: "No more rhymes now, I mean it!" Fezzik: "Anybody want a peanut?" Vizzini: "Aaaarrrrrggghhh!"
Inigo: "I could give you my word as a Spaniard!" Westley: "No good. I've known too many Spaniards!"
Inigo: "You are wonderful!" Westley: "Thank you. I've worked hard to become so."
"Words 'too fucking busy' shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary."
"What we've got here is failure to communicate."
Mr. White: "Who cares what your name is?" Mr. Pink: "Yeah, that's easy for you to say, you're Mr. White. You have a cool sounding name."
"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake."
"It was beautiful, we were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them."
Mrs. Robinson: "Would you like me to seduce you?" Benjamin: "What?" Mrs. Robinson: "Is that what you are trying to tell me?"
Bond: "Are you going to tell us who you work for?" Mr. White: "I was always very interested to meet you. I heard so much about you from Vesper. The real shame is, If she hadn't killed herself, we would've had you too... I think you would have done anything for her."
Green: "How much do you know about Bond, Camille? Because he's rather a tragic case... his MI6 says he's difficult to control, nice way of saying that everything he touches seems to wither and die."
So, what's the haps? What are we doing tonight? Hitting a clizzub?
"Hank Paulson has worked tirelessly under some very difficult circumstances. We've got an unprecedented crisis, or at least something that we have not seen since the Great Depression. And I think Hank would be the first one to acknowledge that probably not everything that's been done has worked the way he had hoped ...
"She was the woman I related to, who had that elegance and strength for knowing what was right."
"My eyes have seen the glory of the trampling at the zoo, we've washed ourselves in niggers blood and all the mongrels too, we're taking down the zog machine jew, by jew, by jew, the WHITE MAN MARCHES ON!" repeat
"You tell me when will General Motors run out of money relatively in the near future and what amount of money would you need now to prevent that insolvency."
"I don't believe, Congressman, that we have the luxury of a lot time.
"And what amount of money would you need to take you to March 30th."
"We cannot be confident that we'll be able to successfully emerge from bankruptcy."
"There's a looming cliff and we have to act."
"I did this at the direction of President elect Obama to meet with the Republican leadership and let him know that like President elect Obama who had a meeting on Monday with Senator McCain and Senator Graham that we welcome their ideas and their concept."
"But I told them that I like and welcome their ideas. We would like and welcome their ideas on a host of fronts be that in the are of education, healthcare, taxes, energy policy."
What would this country be if our economy didn't allow wealthy people to take advantage of rubes.
"We cannot allow ourselves to be vulnerable to that anymore. We should learn from history."