"You know Beth, you smell, you reek of shit."
" You will take a short sea voyage....yarr.. I'll enjoy that"
"You really want to go there?"
"And then Ashton Kutcher, and then also you can’t trust this guy because do you remember a little something called Punk. Hello?! Hello?!"
"Secondly, when you don’t understand anything and your frightened by things then you make fun of it. You ridicule it and that’s what I’m doing."
"You're such a man whore."
"You have to be two people. The librarian and the stripper."
G: You caved? J: It's over? G: You're out? J: Oh my god, the queen is dead. G: I figured you'd cruise atleast through the spring. J: What happened? E: It was John John. J&G: Aaaah.
K: So you're still master of your domain? J: Yes, yes I am. Master of my domain.
"Hey George Simmons you look destroyed man."
Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
"You all are all retarded. Hello?"
Ice: You are still dangerous. You can be my wingman anytime. Maverick: Bullshit, you can be mine.
Oh I think Normy will understand, when he sees the note we pin on Edna's sleeve. Ellen: Sure Clark, you left his dead mother tied to a lawn chair in his back yard - I'm sure he won't mind.
Rusty: Hey, you got Pacman? Dale: No. Rusty: Uh, you got Space Invaders? Dale: No. Rusty: You got Asteroids? Dale: Naw but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
Clark: She can't weigh more than 100 pounds. Ellen: Oh no, you can't put her up on that roof. Audrey: Yes he can! Clark: What, you want me to strap her to the hood? What's the difference, she'll be fine!
Guy taught me somethin really neat last year. D'you ever bop your bologna?
Ellen: It's an awfully long ride Clark. Clark: I'm looking forward to an awfully long ride. You get to see the kids all the time. I see them 2 minutes in the morning, 2 minutes in the evening, maybe 3 hours on the weekend. Sheesh.
Jerry: I'll have a cup of coffee and a turkey club. Waitress: How bout you? Elaine: Um, I'll just have a glass of water. Jerry: You can't just have water. Elaine: Why not? That's all I want. Jerry: Well this is not like a park bench were you come in and sit down. It's a business.
Susan: It's my father's cabin! Elaine: The cabin is on fire! George: I just realized, you never gave me back the change from the tolls.
Elaine: It's not good to get there, you gotta make good time. Jerry: I know, he once went from West 81st street to Kennedy airport in 25 minutes. I never heard the end of it.
God damn! You got to be a stupid mother fucker to get fired on your day off.
You got knocked the fuck out!
Craig: You want some Kool-Aid. Smokey: Man, you know I want some Kool-Aid.
Felisha: Well let me borrow a joint. Smokey: You need to borrow a job with your broke ass. Always tryin to smoke up somebody's shit. Get the hell on Felisha. Felisha: I'll remember that. Smokey: Remember it, write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck!
You ain't got no sugar? Daaamn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-Aid no sugar, peanut butter no jelly, ham, no burger. Daamn.
Smokey: I tried to beat his ass but he ran. Craig: Oh you ain't catchin no crack head.
Everytime I come in the kitchen, you in the kitchen. In the goddamn refrigerator, eatin up all the food. All the chicken, all the pig feet, all the collard greens all the hogmols, I want to eat some of them chitlins, I love pig feet.
Mr. Jones: What are you doin? Craig: I'm throwin this away. We ain't even got no milk. Mr. Jones: You better put some water on that damn shit.
Jimmy: "Coolio I thought it would be a nice thing if you could talk to everybody about swimming and why it's important." Coolio: "If you can't swim, your ass is gonna drown." Jimmy: "See that, if you can't swim your ass is going to drown."
Sonny: You wear a diaper? Julian: No. Sonny: You wipe your own ass then? Julian: Yes. Sonny: You do? Good job, that's cool.
Kevin: I'm about to do somethin that I never thought I'd have the guts to do. Sonny: You're not proposin are ya? Kevin: Uh, yeah pal I am. Sonny: Well, think about it ya know.
The kid is always around. For the past 3 days he just never leaves me alone, you would think he would want some privacy but he doesn't. I'm in deep shit.
Sonny: You know what else is good? Smokin dope. I ain't gonna rat you out. You know, puffin the cheeba, go by the see-saw smoke a J. You know what I'm talkin about? Kid: I have a bellybutton.
Sonny: A caterpillar. Julian: That's right a capitillar. Sonny: Capitillar, hey, stayin clean pal? Kid: Yes. Sonny: That's right, you drink the booze you lose, remember that punk.
It's important when you eat at my restaurant, you never order BLT. You must trust me, stay away from BLT.
Rusty: That's it, that's it, that's the way I want my hair cut dad. Clark: Ah Rusty, you don't want to look like a rooster do you?
You won some fantastic prizes. Do you want to keep em or do you want to risk everything and be a pig.
First of all, you're never an idiot, you're a Griswold, you understand that? Huh?
Ellen: Clark, you're driving on the wrong side of the road. Clark: I realize that honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
I said you with the face. I don't need to justify myself to you.
Roscoe: It looks like your alliance is over and you've been off the island. Jamaal: Bianca the tribe has spoken, bounce!
Why you a Muslim now? You a 5 percenter?
You a bad bitch. Oh, wait a minute girl, I'm serious, I'm serious, you bad, you are the baddest bitch Survivor ever had soon to be my sister in law up in my kitchen girl I'm honored.
Bianca: You're not cheap baby. Reggie: Yes he is, you don't know him like we do, he's tight.
Oh red, look at what you, look you got those picnic table cloth pants on. Hey Boo Boo, let me get another picnic basket.
Yeah I spank my kids. I give them nickles. They fuck up, I start fuckin them up. Gee I'm sorry, fuck that.
Reggie: You got a woody don't cha? Roscoe: Fool, if I had a woody, I'd flip this table over.
Please find some clothes that fit, you got all your business in the street.
"And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers...
"You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness...
Barack Obama: "There are also those who claim that our reform efforts would insure illegal immigrants. This, too, is false. The reforms -- the reforms I'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally." Joe Wilson: "You lie! (Boos.)" Barack Obama: "It's not true."
Oh, you're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz. You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz if ever a Wiz there was. If ever a wonderful Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because because because because because because...because of the wonderful things he does.
You got knocked the fuck out!
You know you got shit all over the back of your ass?
Joker: I'm not stupid, you're stupid. Karla: No you're stupid Joker: Don't call me stupid, I'm sensitive. Karla: Just where's the car keys? Joker: You're stupid. Karla: Bye.
Y'all can't fuck with the police. Y'all can't fuck with the police. Y'all can't fuck with the police.
Dean: "You're the king of the…what is it you're making out here?" Joel: "It's extract." Dean: "You're the extract king man."
"What did I say? You didn't hear."
I'm not giving up! You're not dealing with some ignorant hick here!
Moving guy: This ain't a bridge, it's termites holding hands. Moving guy2: We're goin over it. Moving guy: Not me, I wouldn't go over this thing on a skateboard. Moving guy2: We're going over it. Have a little faith in the craftmenship of our forefathers. Moving guy: Your forefathers, no my forefathers.
"You won't, I'll let you know. You are the bouncers, I am the ruler. All you have to do is watch my back and each others and take out the trash."
"Patience mon cheri you will know when you're done."
Elizabeth: You did it Andy, you really pulled it off. Andy: Of course I did Elizabeth. Being a fake is what I do best.