Dean: I'm a professor, you can't talk to me that way. Jeff: A 6 year old girl could talk to you that way. Dean: Yes, cause that would be adorable. Jeff: No because you're a 5 year old girl and there's a peking order.

Troy: You're that girl that got hooked on pills and dropped out. You're little Annie Adderall. Annie: And you're a stupid jock who lost his scholarship by dislocating both his shoulders in a keg stand. Troy: Keg flip, they're very hard to pull of. Annie: Don't talk to me.

Abed: You know, I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films. Jeff: Yeah? Abed: Yeah. Jeff: Well you have aspergers.

Pierce: Are you the board certified tutor? Troy: That means you do my homework right Seacrest?

"And of course they had your dad so that was enough to win the Super Bowl and it still is."

Guy: Ya dumb broad! Instructor: Alright Stephanie, gently extend your arm. Extend your middle finger.

Chirped by @travisdecker

Chirped

"You will not have a career. You will be smeared and tarnished for life to come."

"So don't think people won't get on the telephone and call the cops. So whatever you do you have to be low key."

ACORN: "You have no knowledge of what's going on. You're just keeping it real. You're just a landlord." Man: "You're just a land lord." ACORN: "You're just a land lord."

Peter: Why don't you get off your board and get out of my dreams and get into my car. Sydney: You lookin for your pot of gold? Peter: Why does everything I do sound like a leprechaun?

You put my face on a 10 foot dick over Santa Monica Blvd.

Come on, you had a speedo full of Brillo.

Sydney: You mean chocolate. Peter: Chocolate. Sydney: Chocolate with Johnny Depp. Peter: Chocolate. Sydney: You're not fuckin French Pete, it's called Chocolate. Peter: Chocolate's got an E on the end. Sydney: Your best night in 5 years was watching Chocolate with Johnny Depp. You should be ashamed of yourself. Pete...

Peter: I used a picture of Zooey in a bikini that I took when we were on vacation in Cabo San Lucas. Sydney: Wait, you jacked off to a picture of your own girlfriend? You, wow that is sick. Oh my god, what is wrong with you.

Go into any Olive Garden, P.F. Chang's Chinese Bistro, TGI Friday's, Fuddruckers. What do they have in the bathroom? Urinal cakes with my face on them. I've had people come up to me on the streets and say I know you from somewhere. Yeah you do, you pissed on my face friend.

Peter: You have a piano in your houes though don't you? Barry: Yeah I don't play. Peter: Why do you have a piano? Barry: The decorator put it there.

Peter: She was very nice looking. Sydney: Yeah I fucked her.

"All the time these…you want to get that? You want to get it, grab it. I don't care, grab it. Whoever you're calling it doesn't matter. Come on just turn it off, come on unless you got a better story we want to get on with Jerry's story."

"Damn it Terry, you are a young, hip, tech savvy, 20 something and I will not have you turn into my father. Come on!"

"Oh yeah, you're a chicken!"

"Maybe it's you who don't know me. Because if you knew me Peg you would know there are certain things that I do not do. I do not floss. I do not eat vegetables. I do not like French pastries. I do not like the French. I do not cry at movies except of course Old Yeller because we know it was very sad. But most import...

Bud: "You can't be this dumb!" Kelly: "I can be anything I want to be, it's the 90s."

"You're a chicken."

"Yes Al."

Kelly: "It's about not having sex." Peggy: "Oh my god, you got married."

Yes we tore you away from everything you know but don't worry, everything is normal here, your fathers are floating fairies. Can you call Andre, have him paint something a little less gay.

Chirped by @JAFlanagan

Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life. You sit around here all day. You contribute nothing to society!

"Oh you got your lawyer here, you’re afraid to answer questions. Whatever, what’s important is the children and not these two self absorbed husband and wife who argue constantly in front of their children."

"Yes! Ha ha ha, um."

"You can't just assert something like that without qualifications, without evidence, without substantiation."

"Look I'm sorry for calling you those names and if you don’t accept my apology you're a douche bag."

"You're fired too! You're all fired."

"The new Beatles Rock Band game will make millions of people happy until it is broken up by the Yoko Ono Rock Band Game."

"On the list of his life goals actor Gary Busey will cross out mount career comeback and replace it with yell at fire hydrant."

"Young Larry resents that."

Dana Barrett: "You know, you don't act like a scientist." Peter Venkman: "They're usually pretty stiff." Dana Barrett: "You're more like a game show host."

Chirped by @gori_taz

"The bottom line is this…if you sell the Vatican and you take that money and you use it to feed every single human being on the planet you will get crazy pussy. All the pussy, I don’t mean literally that might not be your cup of tea. I don’t know what your version of all the pussy is but you’ll get all the pussy. Am...

"You left that at the bar bitch!"

"Yes dad, please mow the lawns at my school. That's exactly what I need!"

"Man, you are hot as balls."

Jules: "You can't wear fake nails on just one hand. You look like a crazy whore." Laurie: "Well I only had 4 left and this is the hand that I smoke with."

"You have a giant hickey on your chest. And I can tell it's Dale's because whoever did it has a tooth missing."

"And in the ghetto when you move you should move at night because nobody is up, nobody can see what you got and nobody can follow you to your new place. So that’s why I did that by 6 o’clock in the morning."

In his first weekly address since being sworn in as the 44th president of the United States, President Barack Obama discussed how the American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan will jump-start the economy. (public domain)

In his weekly address, President Barack Obama announced that Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is preparing a new strategy for reviving our financial system, and urged the swift passage of an American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan. (public domain)

In the weekly address for Saturday, February 7, 2009, President Barack Obama commends the progress the Senate has made on moving the recovery plan forward, and urged its completion. (public domain)

President Obama celebrates the passage of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act while keeping his eyes on the tough road ahead. (public domain)

President Obama explains how the budget he sent to Congress will fulfill the promises he made as a candidate, and assures special interests that he is ready for the fight. (public domain)

President Obama makes key announcements regarding the safety of our nation's food. (public domain)

The President addresses the people of North Dakota, South Dakota, and Minnesota as they face down disastrous flooding. He speaks of what the government is doing, but also stresses that times of crisis like this are reminders of the need and opportunity Americans have to keep their dedication to service. (public domain)

The President discusses the breadth and depth of the global challenges we face, as well as our potential to address them through renewed international alliances. This week's address was filmed aboard Air Force 1 amidst vital diplomatic stops at the G-20 Summit, a NATO summit, and bilateral meetings. (public domain)

The President discusses the multitude of problems and opportunities before the world through the prism of Passover and Easter. (public domain)

With the process of going through the budget line by line in full swing, the President uses his Weekly Address to give some examples, big and small, of how the Administration is working to cut costs and eliminate waste. The President also announces two new key appointments, Jeffrey Zients as Chief Performance Office...

This week the President reiterates a theme that has been a hallmark of his career, namely that "old habits and stale thinking" will simply not help us solve the new and immense problems our country faces. Listing off several specific changes he intends to bring, he describes his guiding principle: "To help build a n...

In this Weekly Address, the President discusses the government's response to the 2009 H1N1 flu virus, urging that there is no need to panic but explaining that the federal government and American people nonetheless should take the necessary precautions. (public domain)

This week the President recaps a busy week, from strides on fiscal discipline, to financial stability, to cracking down on tax havens and tax breaks for shifting jobs overseas. For his next big step, he calls for a credit card reform bill: "Americans know that they have a responsibility to live within their means an...

The President discusses breakthroughs on two issues where stakeholders from all sides, once opposed, are coming together for real reform. On health care and energy, solutions would provide key pillars for a new foundation for the country. May 16, 2009. (public domain)

President Barack Obama calls on the American people to join him in paying tribute to Americas veterans, servicemen and women particularly those who have made the ultimate sacrifice - and their families. (Public Domain)

Yeah, you know where to find me, You should follow me if you used to follow Miley, I’m still here @billyraycyrus, I’m still here,

Chirped by @Znuc

David Letterman: "Tom Hanks what are you doing here." Tom Hanks: "What do you mean what am I doing here?" David Letterman: "Well why are you here?" Tom Hanks: "You just called me Dave. You pressed the Tom Button."

"You said till death do us part…you’re not dead yet."

"She also said…you made your bed now go lie in it. That means make your bed!"

I wanna make enough money To run my life From the top of a mountain In the dead of night It’ll be you and me And a couple of dogs And the rest of the world Can just move on Cuz i got what i want And i got what i need And there’s nothing In this world But you For me And there’ll be fish in the lake And there’ll be c...

"You were in a box in the attic! You’re in big trouble mister. Big trouble!"

"You had the whole world worried sick. You’re gonna have a nickname now I hope you realize that…balloon boy!"

Been couple of years down, I think Yankees are back, As American as apple pie and Cracker Jacks, Yeah I’m talking Babe Ruth, the Joe Di Yankee Clipper, now we got the greatest closer ever Rivera, Hell yeah! Winning games like it's not fair. The Yankees rule so we don't care 26 World Series rings Time to pop...

Winning games like it's not fair. The Yankees rule so we don't care 26 World Series rings Time to pop some more champagne Victory's within the mile Almost there, don't give up now Only thing that's on my mind The Yanks gonna run this town tonight. Hey!

Been couple of years down, I think Yankees are back, As American as apple pie and Cracker Jacks, Yeah I’m talking Babe Ruth, the Joe Di Yankee Clipper, now we got the greatest closer ever Rivera, Hell yeah!

Max: "For me it’s a Miracle." Meredith: "Okay, you are a miracle Max."

Plugs? You mention plugs to me? You sit at this table and mention plugs?

"You blue dog? Me like dog. Bark for me. Bark for me like dog. Me like dog. Me no like you."

The Rock Obama: "You like your insurance?" Man: "I do, I do." The Rock Obama: "Better call your insurance, tell them you need new arm."

Chirped by @TheBronxZoo

Chirped by @travisdecker

King Leonidas: "Are you telling me you're gay?" Spartan: "Are you asking for yourself or for a friend."

Chirped by @travisdecker

Shout out to my homeboy. Yo Jay, remember when we used to play this song for bitches over the phone in junior high. ha ha ha.

"Yankees win the Pennant!"

Look, y'all ain't fucking with GBC man.

Jerry Seinfeld: "You splashed it didn't you." Larry David: "I splashed it."

Assistant: "Larry, you sprayed on Jesus!" Larry David: "You know what can I do? I'm taking this medication and it's all over the place, I can't control it."

"You're a Libra aren't you darling."

"You're in denial when you say no."

"You deserve better."

"We are douchebags. It’s not a bad word anymore. You can’t hurt us anymore."

CNN's Jim Ribble takes a look at the lighter side of the news.

CNN's Jim Ribble takes a look at the lighter side of the news.

CNN's Jim Ribble takes a look at the lighter side of the news.

CNN's Jim Ribble takes a look at the lighter side of the news.

Rick: Knock knock. Who's there pumpkin? A ferret faced skank. Yeah I see her too. Liz: Get a job hayseed. Rick: Are you still talkin? You are one mouthy bitch. I don't go down to where you work and stop them from milkin you.

Why are you people laughing at this? You're supposed to be better, nicer but you're terrible, you're all terrible, just like the people in New York.

Oh I get it, you think cause we talk like this we're all simple and quaint. Well I'm an amateur astronomer and Rick's black wife speaks French. Her name's Jamilla.

Ah, discovery. One of the great and noble pursuits of humankind. Also one of the most dangerous, frustrating, ego-driven, transcendent, sublime, dirty, long, demoralizing, inspiring……you get the idea. Why are inquiry and the pursuit of knowledge so seductive? In Yellow Fluff and Other Curious Encounters...

Chirped by @flandolsi

"Your icon's a joke - it's just a doodle. Your name sounds like a baby retard poodle."

"Your net apps - they're slow- they don't work. Nobody uses them, they go for the search."

"I heard your new motto for saving the world. You do no evil, if evil's a girl."

"I'm smarter than you, and you know it, its sad. That's why you pay me to serve all your ads."

"You got no game, you're old like Atari, I tried to load his homepage - it broke on Safari."

"Tell me cowboy, do you feel lucky? I'm the good, he's the bad, you're just the ugly."

"Trying too hard, your design is insane. This guy has an exclamation point in his name!"

"Your styles inappropriate, sites even more so Yahoo Hot Jobs sounds like a porno."

"Your users got questions - Yahoo's got answers. You look like a blue-man group back-up dancer."

"You can't fly, your design is so heavy, the only hotmail you got is when Ballmer gets sweaty."

"And to the fans…you're the best!"

"You better win this one because if not you might get in trouble."

Chirped by @WolfieEm

CNN's Jim Ribble takes a look at the lighter side of the news.

Chirped by @awesomerabbids

Chirped by @stuccogranola

Chirped by @stuccogranola

"Larry you're being inappropriate. You really are."

Travis Bickle: You talkin' to me?

Rocky Balboa: Yo, Adrian! It’s me, Rocky!

Jakie Rabinowitz: Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet! Wait a minute, I tell ya! You ain't heard nothin'!

Marie "Slim" Browning: You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow.

Ethel Thayer: Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!

Matsui's 3 RBI's in the title clinching game: $13,000,000.00 Derek Jeter's .462 World Series batting average: $20,000,000.00 ARod's 19 hits in 15 playoff games: $32,000,000.00 Winning the World Series Championship: $201,449,189.00 There are somethings money can't buy. The World Series isn't one of them.

Yawning, groan. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All Media.

CNN's Jim Ribble takes a look at the lighter side of the news.

Yemen chameleon of Chamaeleo calyptratus. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All Media.

"You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. Thanks. You look so good. Oh my gosh, you look at yourself. I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday it's coming up."

"So you are going to cockblock Delaware?"

Yank sedan, neutral with wild sound, vehicle, traffic, car. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All Media.

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"You a boy?!"

"You sound so sexy I want you to come down here and say hi to me."

Yank peck start, departure all-terrain tire, cross-country tyre, off-road tyre, vehicle, traffic, car, Up V8 boarding. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All

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Yellowhammer. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All Media.

"This is 6.0 version you didn't upgrade yet did you genius."

"This is 6.0 version you didn't upgrade yet did you genius."

"Oh by the way, you're welcome!"

Dr. Vicken Shakian: "Do you know what I do? What is my job? Do you know what I do?" Caitlin Upton: "You touch vaginas?" Dr. Vicken Shakian: "Absolutely."

Yellowhammer. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All Media.

Yellowhammer birdcall songbird, animal sound, bird. Sound Effects and Royalty Free Sound Effects for Creative Audio Visual Projects Including YouTube, TV, Film, PowerPoint, Flash, and All Media.

"You think as I do."

"Your eminence."

"Yes sir."

"Your orders?"

"Yes."