Jim: Oh, I hope you have your oven mitts on, because I am on fire. Dana: Yeah, Maverick here is up 22 bucks.

Oh! Busted. Well, Cheryl, I guess you're not any luck. Must've used it all up when you met me.

You've seen how she uses people. She doesn't even think twice about it.

You've never paid me back for anything.

Wayne: You're really a special lady. Thank you, Roxy. Roxanne: Wayne, your wife's already getting a 20% discount. You can stop kissing my butt.

You're really a special lady. Thank you, Roxy.

You cut Wayne Newton's wife's hair! That is so cool.

You glad I stuck my cute little button nose into your business?

You really believe in people. I don't get that.

Hogan: Sure-- and see where the lines, how they've indicated a mood? And here-- see for yourself-- how powerfully you've indicated the infinity of space with just two circles. Klink: That's exactly what I had in mind. Hogan: Why don't you let me keep it, sir?

You know what? I don't even care about naked women right now. That ought to tell you how mad I am.

Maggie: You don't find me attractive. Sock: No, not really. But if it's any consolation, I think it has more to do with your choice of shirts.

Sam Oliver, you are the total package-- guts, determination sociopathic tendencies. Welcome to the executive ranks, my friend.

Sam: Wait, you're mad because I didn't kill Phil? Really? Randolph: No, Sam, I'm mad because you let me think that you killed somebody. You weren't man enough to pull the trigger on Phil or on the project.

You're about to witness the maiden voyage of the Color-Blendo 3000 paint mixer.

Yeah, look! I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. If I want to give my money to some Las Vegas hairdresser I just met yesterday, I will! Good day, sir!

You know what? After that sleeping with your best friend thing, let's keep our distance, okay?

Grace: I thought of something funny. Will: What? Grace: A kid dropped a popsicle. Will: Liar! You would never laugh at food falling.

Malcolm: Oh, don't be nervous. You don't have to impress anybody. Everybody loves you. You've won them all over. Will: Oh, that's nice, it's, It's just that I haven't met anyone yet.

Jack: You read funny, Will. Your lips don't move. Will: Yeah, you'll notice I don't have to sound out the words, either.

Jamie: You're behaving like idiots. Jack: Sorry, Jamie. Jamie: Don't apologize, that's your show. Jack, you just found yourself a co-host.

You know what a complete downer hell is? I gotta be wrecked to face that again.

Will: Malcolm... I need to talk to you. Malcolm: Sure. You wanna go somewhere private?

Oh, look at me going on and on about my job when you were recently fired. I'm sorry.

Oh, hey, honey. You've got a message... from a man! He sounded cute, into you, and straight.

You bet I'm tired. You bet. I'm tired of being responsible for 203 lives, and... I'm tired of deciding which mission is too risky and which isn't, and who's going on the landing party and who doesn't. And who lives... and who dies.

Oh, Jamie. You're abusing heterosexuals. You must have good news.

You know what? I don't, I don't like you. You know what you remind me of is that studio teacher I always had who was always riding me about the algebra.

Grace: Look at you. It's like I haven't changed at all. Tom: You mean, "You haven't changed at all". Grace: Oh, that's sweet.

You're the guy that ate half a brownie and freaked out on my floor that night.

Tom: You're the guy that ate half a brownie and freaked out on my floor that night. Will: Yeah, you could imagine my embarrassment when I found out there were, there were no drugs in it.

Randall: You slapped me. Jack: Well, you were gonna attack me.

You have just become the top of my list of enemies. You have just leaped right past Wilmer Valderrama. Congratulations, buddy!

I have my own charitable foundation, and I've been looking for a lawyer to help me run it. You could be helping needy children and there's dental.

I just booked a healthy pet commercial. I'm the new face of Heartworm. "You mean checking Fluffy's poo could have saved her life?" That's my line.

Grace: Will, I hope you didn't worry too much, but I'm gonna be okay. Will: Yeah, I know you're okay. You landed in a bin of cashmere sweaters. And bounced gently when you hit it. I think you even giggled like Snuggles the bear.

Grace: Why aren't you taking this seriously? Will: Because you're wearing a ridiculous I Love Lucy neck brace.

Yeah, and one day you might get the morning gunk out of your eye before noon, but I'm not holding my breath for that either.

Nina: Maybe you could get in the bath with me. Ben: Oh, honey, I would, but it's a one-person tub - and I don't want to cramp you in there. Nina: I wouldn't mind. Ben: I know, but then there's the issue of dirty bathwater. And if we're both in there, then we're only semi-clean, and nobody wants that. Nina: Yeah,...

You're in no position to bargain!

You appear to be healthy and intelligent, captain. Prime specimen.

You have deliberately invited the death penalty.

Now you see what you've done? You've broken the cardinal rule of acting. You've confused the hot guy.

You've used my method to have sex with women? Shame!

You're a big executive at Out TV now. You got a briefcase, an office, big-boy underpants.

You guys into magik with a "k" too? My fairies got me believing in all things supernatural.

Will, you've got everything. You've got your health, friends, family. You just made partner. And most importantly of all, you still have all your hair.

Karen: Maybe you're just moving on. You're showing growth. Jack: Oh, sorry.

You'll now see the primitive fear threat reaction.

You think you can defeat me in a contest? What would that contest entail-- who's better at slacking off, who could be the biggest failure? Just exactly what is it that you can beat me at, Sammy? Because we both know the only thing you really excel at is being a full-time loser.

Will: Get out of my bed! Jack: You get out of my bed!

You were great tonight.

You know, I love your mommy. I would never do anything to hurt her.

You're my child. I was an "A" student. I know you can do this if you just apply yourself.

You will answer all questions put to you.

Vina: You're home. You can even stay, if you want. Chris: But we're not here, neither of us. We're in a menagerie, a cage.

Yes, yes, you can please me. You can tell me about them.

Jim: You were very impressive as Lady Macbeth. Lenore: Thank you. And as Lenore Karidian? Jim: Very impressive.

You've got me backed into a corner. The men would never forgive me if I deprived them of your performance... and your presence.

Jay: You always think he's up to something. Michael: Because he is my son, which means he is always up to something.

Michael: You're right. This internet is great! I mean, I should be on it, you should be on it. The kids should be on it, everybody! I got this vision where we hook up, like, all these different computers and we start something like a... Like a... Like a world wide web! Jay: Wow! Yeah! You thought of that yourself? ...

You should be told the difference between empiricism and stubbornness, doctor.

Lenore: You are like your ship. Powerful, but not human. There is no mercy in you. Captain James T. Kirk: He is Kodos. And I've shown him more mercy than he deserves.

McCoy: You're not gonna answer my question, are you? Jim: Ahead warp factor 1, Mr. Leslie. McCoy: That's an answer.

Grace: Hey, Jack how would you like to-- Jack: Uh, no, I'm not going to your dad's birthday party. You should know by now, I listen to your answering machine.

You like my hair? It's reversible. Whoo.

Ma, this is worse than the time that you told me that you were gonna take me out for ice cream, and you ended up dropping me off at camp!

Bobbi: Martin, your daughter's here! Martin: I hope it's the good one.

Will: Hi, I'm Will. You must be my blind date. Desmond: Hi, I'm Desmond. You must be my sighted date. Will: Oh, so you're actually-- Desmond: Oh, I hope you're not going to say wearing the same outfit as you.

You are one cocky, embarrassing star!

You looked pretty foolish.

You changed my name on the mailbox downstairs to Baldy McLegdough.

You don't know the pressure to be thin at a gay network, Will. There's a purging station in every bathroom.

You missed a great wrap party at White Castle last night. Whoo, it was off the hook!

Yes, she's big-boned. Yes, it looks like this 2,000-year-old wall is crumbling beneath her.

You just mugged a little girl.

This is strikingly similar to last week when you thought that woman stole your fur and you came home with a seeing eye dog around your neck.

You would not believe what I just found in Leo's bag, a love letter from that bitch, Dr. Morty. When I think of how I almost didn't read it because I was respecting his privacy, it makes me so glad I'm never honest.

Look, if something happened, you would've remembered, because it's so rare for you.

"You can have me wherever, whenever." That's hot.

Jack: You should've seen this coming, Grace. Grace: What's that supposed to mean? Jack: Well, it's karma, dear. Yeah. It's what you get for marrying above your station.

You have spat in god's eye and now must be punish-ed.

Dr. Keller: Interesting. Would you like to share that? Will: I would. Dr. Keller: Well, you can't. 'Cause you crapped around for about 48 minutes talking about a stapler.

You're not interesting! We passed, like, 20 of you on the way here.

And I'm sorry I had to put in so many eye drops, but your eyes had absolutely no moisture in them. I actually had to blow dust off them.

Karen, I'm not gonna have this argument with you again. You will never be a fish! Isn't it enough you drink like one?

You look like the lovely and talented Tina Fey.

You do realize you can't buy a house with box tops and enthusiasm.

Jack: Remember that money we set aside for our Fire Island share this summer? Will: You mean where I put in $15,000 and you put in $6?

Blonde Woman: You sure you're not gay? Brunette Woman: And before you answer, we've been to San Francisco.

You should be ashamed of yourself. And not just because you're dressed like an audience member from The Price is Right.

You will make excellent cannon fodder, Klink, for the Russian front.

You know, I was thinking about what the Captain told us all about the future. About how we all changed and drifted apart. Why would he want to tell us what's to come?

You were always welcome.

You won't get off my hook this easily. I'm gonna marry you, mister.

Yeoman: You need sleep, captain. If it's not out of line to suggest... Jim: I have enough of that from Dr. McCoy, yeoman. Thank you.

You know, you have to see this place to believe it. It's like something out of Alice in Wonderland.

You've got your problems, I've got mine, but he's got ours, plus his, plus 430 other people.

Grace: You have six brothers and three sisters? Nick: Well, you know, I am Irish Catholic. And my parents never had a TV in the bedroom, so...

Your poor mother. I cannot imagine that. No TV in the bedroom?

Grace: Can't you just wait a few more minutes? You have the best table in the restaurant. Will: Yes, if you enjoy dining on the sun.

Karen: But here in America, we don't eat birds. Rosario: Yeah, but you drink a lot of Wild Turkey.

You have made me the happiest man alive who was never supposed to live past 17.

You are not the rare Hot Gay Nerd. Why you are the very common Hot Gay Opportunist.

Will: You didn't sleep with him? Grace: I did not. Will: Or let him feel you up in the cab? Grace: Only because he said I was pretty.

Yeah, my former nemesis is in love with me.

You can't trust people you meet on the internet. I went on a date with this guy I met online, and he seemed really nice. But at the end of the evening, I stole $200 from his wallet.

You know, and people lie all the time, so don't get your hopes up. He's probably not as fat as he says he is.

Karen: I'll know him because he's going to be wearing a green string around his wrist. Will: Yeah, 'cause you wouldn't want to walk up to the wrong 500-pound man.

Karen: You'll never guess who's here! Jack: Greg Evigan from TV's BJ and the Bear, and then, after a brief hiatus, "My Two Dads"?

You're Elevator Hazard at whalewatcher.com?

"You are the target of my love," or, "Your love makes me quiver." Maybe not that one. Sounds sexual. A little weird coming from a dog.

How about one with a dog on one side and a lying creep on the other, and inside, it says, "Your husband's got a bitch on the side."

Grace: Wait, you're serious? You write greeting cards? Nick: I prefer to think of them as extremely short stories.

Captain James T. Kirk: You follow the rabbit. I'll backtrack the girl. I'll meet you round the other side of the hill. Dr. McCoy: Good. I got a personal grudge against that rabbit, Jim.

You're using all of my stuff!

I'm sorry, I'm a wee bit confused. Um...how can I put this delicately? You're a raging Moe yourself, no?

Michael Jr: You have no idea what it is, do you? Claire: Of course, I do. It's Jupiter and Mars colliding, right? Michael Jr: No. It's Jennifer Lopez picking up a quarter. Now get out so I can do Pamela Anderson eating a banana.

Yeah, because to me, this isn't just a dance. It's the beginning of our life together.

You should've seen the feet on this woman. She looked like she was wearing snow shoes.

Yeah, we're like the best dancers here.

You've turned a simple meal into a dining experience.

Yes, Mom, the Italian and I broke up. No, not because he stole from me. Why would you say something like that?

What's wrong with you? Your spirits are sagging lower than your breast-eses.

You know, I mean, first me and Vince, then Brad and Jen. America's in mourning.

You got about as much style as a mariachi band.

Oh, you're so wise to remember the name of your sworn enemy.

You're even crazier than you are tall and birdlike.

And, uh, when next you see me, you're gonna be crying bitter tears.

Michael Jr: You can't go bowling in that skirt. Claire: Why not? Michael Jr: Because you have to bend over to pick up the ball and everybody can look right up your alley.

You know, it is always "so what" when it's my family. But when it's your family, hey, stop the world. You better be on time.

Michael: You're gonna be the most beautiful flower girl at the wedding. Kady: My butt itches. Michael: As long as you keep your mouth shut. Now, you sit there and don't get messed up.

You think that I'm senile that all this is just a delusion.

You can't fool me, this is a bowling alley and I don't know how to bowl.

You accused me of being the representative of a... a barbarous species.

Q: You're guilty. Picard: Guilty of what? Q: Of being inferior.

You have no idea how far you still have to go.

You obtuse piece of flotsam.

You know what, Mr. About-to-lose, I think I'll let my fingers do the walking and my balls do the talking.

You think you have all the time in the world, until... Yeah.

Quark: So, what did you find out? O'Brien: That you should never try to match drinks with a Klingon.

Ross: You've done a fine job taking over for Captain Sisko. Kira: I'm just keeping his seat warm.

Damar: You ever wonder what goes on? Inside the wormhole, I mean? Weyoun: Not really. Damar: The Prophets and the Pah-wraiths locked in some form of... celestial battle. It's fascinating. Weyoun: I never realized you had such a vivid imagination. Damar: There's a lot about me you don't know.

Quark: You want to get Jadzia into Sto-Vo-Kor? Fine, fine, I'm all for it but can't you do something more sensible? Make a donation in her name, or bribe someone. Bashir: It doesn't work that way, Quark.

Joseph: You thinking about Sarah? Sisko: Actually, I was thinking about Jadzia. She always used to be here to help me sort things out. I miss her.

Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up.

That you should never try to match drinks with a Klingon.

You don't give a crap about anyone but yourself.

I don't believe you just did that. You spurned a Broadway legend for me.

Oh, don't talk like that. You are smart, good-looking, rich.

You're Commandant of a blasted ant hole, Klink.

Leonard: You must think I'm pretty pathetic. Grace: Eh.

Leonard: You wanna take it out on me? Grace: Huh? Leonard: Spank me.

All right, all right. You can quit your fakin', Rosie, you've made your point. You're gonna get an extra 25 cents an hour. And a new pack of sponges.

Ferris: You don't really think you'll have any luck, do you? Jim: Look, these people are my friends and my shipmates. I intend to continue this ship's search for them... until the last possible moment.

I see what you're trying to do. You are trying to get me to take you to lunch in Barbados, and it has worked! Let's go!

You could lose your biggest client. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be smiling, but, uh, we're both up for partner this year.

You can't just waltz in and buy out a company. I-i-it's a little more complicated than that, cowboy.

Dennis: You slacking off again? Vince: Why don't you lay off, you little bitch, before I rip your head off your neck?

You have not seen the last of me. And the next time you see me, you will be terrified.

You Ghost of Christmas Passed-out.

Y-you know what might help this awkward moment, Connie? Uh, if you left.

Grace: I can't do that. I feel terrible. Will: You know what your problem is? Jewish guilt.

You know how many Jewish serial killers there are? Not many, because they kill once, then they feel too guilty to kill again.

You're the only one of my friends who doesn't look slutty in a micro mini.

Yo, crackers, I'd love to!

You're embarrassing me. And that's hard to do. I was dropped off at school by a 700-pound man.

Oh, you are such a wonderful woman. I-I swear I don't know what I would do without you. I need you to fire her, Will.

You have his eyes, you know. Except-- yours aren't on the sides of your head.

Rosario: Miss Karen? We have a little visitor. Karen: Oh, for God's sake, I'm not your mother. You know where the tampons are. Rosario: It's your stepdaughter Olivia. You Ghost of Christmas Passed-out.

Still negotiating, got me signing contracts. Through my gmail, you should see my contacts. I also drop cars, no longer compact. We do it digital, they tweet me, I respond back. A Bay, that's what the girls say. Get respect cause we always come in first place. Check my resume, and my birthplace, that's the first ste...

Uh huh, you know what it do, every time we play, it's the W.

Ain't once Johnny Jolly's done taking codine pools, he'll be back up there with Clay Hawkin, and cracking skulls. You're a Packer gang or be a Lion's fan. They found a way to get the Vikings banned. Yo Mr. Farvre I don't like you in a that purp, I see you're looking up...skirt. Picks on the daily, I can't say I sup...

Yellow stripe, green nylon. Aaron Rodgers rushin 30 yard to the pylon. That beast under center in the 1 2. 12 on his back, matter fact it's on the front too. Okay, movin on, he's a monster, if you're ain't in green and yellow, kid's gonna rock ya. But not rape ya, we ain't talkin Roethlisberger, we talkin MVP, facia...

Yo Mr. Farvre I don't like you in a that purp, I see you're looking up...skirt.

Your butt stinks.

You'd never believe what's in it. You might refuse to go to Berlin.

Boma: You mean three of us must stay behind. Spock: Unless the situation changes radically, yes. Boma: And who is to choose? Spock: As commanding officer... the choice will be mine.

McCoy: You mean they should've respected us? Spock: Of course. McCoy: Mr. Spock... respect is a rational process. Did it ever occur to you they might react emotionally, with anger?

You might as well admit it, Mr. Spock. Your precious logic brought them down on us.

Spock: Yes, I do seem to have miscalculated regarding them, and inculcated resentment on your parts. The sum of the parts cannot be greater than the whole. McCoy: A little less analysis and more action. That's what we need, Mr. Spock.

Jim: You're not going to admit that for the first time in your life, you committed a purely human, emotional act? Spock: No, sir. Jim: Mr. Spock... you're a stubborn man. Spock: Yes, sir.

You're not the boss of me, Captain Ahab!

You, error? Impossible.