You've done this before.

You were a terrible mother!

Sister: You went to watch a wrestling match? Nacho: Kind of. Sister: You are a man of the cloth. Lucha libre, it's a sin. Nacho: But why? Sister: Because those men fight for vanity, for money, for false pride. Nacho: Yes, it's terrible. Terrible. But is it always a sin to fight? Sister: No. If you fight f...

Colonel Mustard: Just checking. Mrs. Peacock: Everything all right? Colonel Mustard: Yep. Two corpses. Everything's fine.

Mrs. White: You've got blood on your hands. Mr. Green: I didn't do it!

Sister: Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favorite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord. Hiking. Play volleyball. Nacho: You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said is my favorite thing to do every day.

Nacho: Don't you see? Your skills plus my skills in the ring, tag team. Steven: You're crazy! Nacho: Aren't you tired of getting dirt kicked in your face? I am! Don't you want a little taste of the glory? See what it tastes like? Steven: No! Nacho: If we win, we get 200 pesos!

You're crazy!

You have not been baptized?

You messed with the wrong guy this time.

Nacho: I'm not listening to you. You only believe in science. That's probably why we never win. Steven: We never win because you are fat.

You must pray for forgiveness.

Yes, it's true! I am Nacho, the luchador.

Nacho: Yes! Orphans: Yes! Nacho: Yes!

Wadsworth: You recognized Yvette, didn't you? Don't deny it! Mrs. White: What do you mean, "Don't deny it"? I'm not denying anything! Wadsworth: Another denial! Mrs. White: Thhbbtt!

So Yvette ran to the cupboard, got the gun, and shot the door open. Then the doorbell rang.

Wadsworth: You see? Like the Mounties, we always get our man. Mr. Green: Mrs. Peacock was a man?

Wadsworth: You were jealous that your husband was schtupping Yvette. That's why you killed him, too! Mrs. White: Yes. Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her, so much... it… it… the f… it… flam… flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing… breath l… heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing...

Mr. Green: You're Mr. Boddy! Professor Plum: Wait a minute. So who did I kill? Wadsworth: My butler. Professor Plum: Oh, shucks. Wadsworth: He was expendable like all of you. I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against...

Cop: You all seem to be very anxious about something. Wadsworth: It's the chandelier. It fell down, almost killed us.

Your brother's waiting inside. Oh, and I didn't tell him about his great Christmas towel.

James: You know what they say about treating people badly on the way up? Frank: Yep. You get to treat them badly on the way down, too.

Aah! You stinking... you big dog, you!

Lew Hayward: You are going to be visited by three ghosts. Frank: Ohh! Three ghosts. Lew Hayward: Three ghosts Frank. Expect the first one tomorrow at noon. Frank: God, tomorrow's bad for me Lew. In fact the whole week is a washout. Och! Well, maybe we could have drinks say Thursday. You, me, the ghost. Trader ...

Frank: There was another time, though, that I was running down a hillside that was covered with flowers, and there was a beautiful girl, like 15, with pigtails and she was waiting for me... Ghost of Christmas Past: You are so pathetic! Frank: ...And her parents didn't know she had snuk out of the house... Ghost ...

Claire: You can open one on Christmas eve. At least that's what we did in my family. You have to wait until Christmas morning to open the rest. Isn't that what you did? Frank: Well, if it were going to spoil, we opened it the night before.

Ghost of Christmas Past: You left Claire for Frisbee the dog? Frank, let me sum this up for you: you don't know who you are, you don't know what you want, and you don't know what the hell is going on! Frank Cross: I've made a few mistakes. I gotta live with that. But I do know who I am, I know what I want, and I k...

Frank Cross: I'm gonna give you a little advice, Claire... Scrape 'em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself! Claire Phillips: Oh, well, that's a really nice attitude on Christmas Eve! Frank Cross: Bah, humbug.

You know I like the rough stuff, don't you, Frank?

Wendie: You invite him to Christmas dinner every year, and every year he's too busy to come. When are you gonna learn? James: Um, never. He's my brother. Wendie: Aw.

You had a bad day? Let me tell you a little bit about my day... I got fired, my wife left me, she took our little baby daughter... with her. I can't recall much after that because ever since then, i've been blind, stinking... drunk!

Frank Cross: Hey. Are you glad to see me, or is this a shotgun in your pocket? Okay, you've heard it. Come on. Great! Elliot: Don't hurt me. You're alive! Pink side! Coming back! Long sole! You know this one? That's my thing. I'm doing this to everybody. Alright here's the deal. I'll rehire you back at twice yo...

James Cross: You know what they say about people who treat other people badly on the way up? Frank Cross: Yep, you get to treat 'em badly on the way back down too. It's great, you get two chances to rough 'em up.

Theo: You're out. This is Spider; he's replacing you. Spider: What's up, dawg?

Yeah, it's a 1968 Gibson SG. Mint condish. No. That's all? Well, that's a mistake. No, Hendrix played this guitar.

You're the cross dressing, blood sucking incubus from Maggot Death. That's the real you.

Katie: Katie. Dewey: What was that thing you were playing today, the big thing? Katie: Cello. Dewey: Okay, this is a bass guitar, and it's the exact same thing, but instead of playing like this, you tip it on the side, chello, you've got a bass.

Dewey: Lead guitar... Zack Attack. Take a seat. On bass, Posh Spice. On keyboards, Mr. Cool. And on drums, Spazzy McGee. Okay, Blondie, Brace Face, you're singing backup. All right, Tough Guy, Shortstop... Fancy Pants, get over here. You guys are on security detail. Your job is to make sure no one outside this room ...

You mean, we're not in the band?

Yeah, now raise your goblet of rock. It's a toast to those who rock.

Dewey Finn: Yes! But, you can't just say it, man. You've gotta feel it in you're blood and guts! If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at the man! And right now, I'm the man. That's right, I'm the man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off? Freddy: Shut the h...

You're a fat loser and you have body odor.

You're tacky and I hate you.

You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard-ass, and if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking them in the head.

Billy: You know what? I give up. They can just wear their uniforms. Dewey: That's not a bad idea. Billy: Not a bad idea? I was kidding.

Dewey: This is my final exam. Now y'all know who I am. I might not be that perfect son. But y'all be rocking when I'm done. Lawrence's Father: Your son is very skilled. Zack's Father: Thanks. So's yours.

Spider: Yeah, you're hot. You're so hot. Miss Mullins: What? Spider: Huh? I'm sorry. Miss Mullins: What? Are you warm?

You've escaped from quite a few prisons, haven't you? That's why you're here. Alcatraz was built to keep all the rotten eggs in one basket.

Doc: You scared of dying? Frank: I don't think so. Doc: You better be. You hurt Wolf. Wolf's going to hurt you.

You start shitting at night instead of in the morning, they want to know why.

You like D block, Wolf? You better because you're going to rot in there for a long time.

Guard: You still reading that bible? Frank: Oh, yeah. It's opening up all kinds of new doors.

You looking at something?

Tim Daland: You said you'd look at him. Harry Hogge: I've looked at him. Tim Daland: I paid twenty five hundred dollars to use this track today, Harry. Cole Trickle: Forget it, he needs a brand name like Exxon or Richard Petty. Harry Hogge: Well, I know a damn race driver when I see one.

Rowdy Burns: You run good. Cole Trickle: Thank you. Rowdy Burns: Now go get your own car and we'll see how you do in a crowd.

Harry: You were one lucky son of a bitch in that tunnel turn. Cuz that car was way out of shape. Cole: If you think it was luck, let's do it again.

Harry Hogge: Cole, you're wandering all over the track! Cole Trickle: Yeah, well this son of a bitch just slammed into me. Harry Hogge: No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you... he *rubbed* you. And rubbin, son, is racin'.

Cole: Yes! Announcer: Cole trickle wins his first NASCAR victory.

Big John: You're late. Cole Trickle: We, uh, had, car trouble. Big John: What kind of car trouble? Cole Trickle: Uhhhhh... Rowdy Burns: I believe it was the radiator. Wasn't it, Cole? Cole Trickle: Yes, Rowdy, I believe it was.

Dr. Claire Lewicki: Boy, you're very quick. Cole Trickle: You oughta see me drive.

You're one hell of a candy ass. I faint and you throw up.

Harry: You're doing good, Cole. Cole: I feel loose. The car just feels all wrong! Buck: What's wrong? Harry: Cole's upset. Buck: What about? Harry: About being in that race car.

You shouldn't be driving a car anyway! Not on a road, not on a track and not in a parking lot! You are selfish, you're crazy, and you're scared.

You and Rowdy, you have the same sickness. It's called denial, and it is probably going to kill you both.

NASCAR Official: Hey! You can't do that, that's not your car. Tim Daland: It's my engine in that car, I gave him that engine and that's what my boys are pushing.

You don't have to be a dick.

DMV Customer: You're on T.V., bro. You're on T.V. You're on T.V., bro. David: So what? You keep saying that. DMV Customer: So you're on T.V., bro. Go work in a bank or something if you don't wanna be cool to people. David: Whatever.

You are a dildo, pork fuck. You porker!

You're an asshole. God. You are a champion asshole. You're a real blue ribbon fuck!

Dave Spritz: You know when I was in school, I guess the hardest thing was how other kids can be a little mean... names, and stuff. Do you ever get called names? Shelly: Like what? Dave Spritz: I don't know… like, dummy if you miss a question... or, camel toe? Shelly: Yeah... camel toe. Dave Spritz: Do you kn...

David: Dave. Bryant: Bryant. Nervous? David: No. Bryant: Sure? David: Yeah. Bryant: You look just a little bit nervous. David: It's not nerves. Other shit. Bryant: Yeah.

You always worry about your kids, no matter how old. There's always looking after.

Commander Riker: You do this every day? Lieutenant Worf: No, Commander. Usually my calisthenics are more... intense. But those sessions are too personal to be shared. Commander Riker: I'll bet they are.

Your service record says that you are alive and I must accept that.

You seem to find no tranquillity in anything. You struggle against the inevitable. You thrive on conflict. You are selfish yet you value loyalty. You are rash, quick to judge, slow to change. It's amazing you've survived. Be that as it may as species, we have no common ground. You are too aggressive... too hostile, ...

Ayel: Hello. My commander requests the presence of your Captain in order to negotiate a cease fire. You will come aboard our ship via shuttlecraft. Your refusal would be unwise.

You're Captain now, Mr. Kirk.

Young Spock: You suggest I should become completely Vulcan, and yet you married a human... Sarek: As Ambassador to Earth it is my duty to observe and understand human behavior. Marrying your mother was logical.

James T. Kirk: You call this a favor? Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Yeah, you owe me one.

Christopher Pike: Outside! All of you! Now! You all right son? Kirk: You can whistle really loud, you know that?

Kirk, you, too. You're not supposed to be here anyway.

Scotty: Unless there's another hardworking, equally starved Starfleet officer around. Keenser: Me. Scotty: Get aff! Shut up! You don't eat anything! You can eat, like, a bean, and you're done.

Kirk: You're telling me I can't tell you that I'm following your own orders? Why not? What happens? Spock Prime: Jim, this is one rule you cannot break.

You feel nothing! It must not even compute for you. You never loved her!

You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you.

It appears that you have been keeping important information from me.

James T. Kirk: Will you be able to fly this thing, right? Spock: Something tells me I already have.

I would walk at parties and people say, "Yo, man, Mr. T was just here looking for you." He was walking up to people saying, "I'm going to whip Eddie Murphy's ass when I see him."

Ayel: Your species is even weaker than I expected. You can't even speak! What? James T. Kirk: I've got your gun!

You know how I knew y'all believed it? Y'all didn't get mad when he took Brooke Shields to the Grammys. Nobody white said shit.

Christopher Pike: I couldn't believe it when the bartender told me who you were. James T. Kirk: Who am I, Captain Pike? Christopher Pike: Your father's son.

You like being the only genius-level repeat-offender in the Midwest?

Mrs. Gump: Remember what I told you, Forrest. You're no different than anybody else is. Did you hear what I said, Forrest? You're the same as everybody else. You are no different. Principal: Your boy's... different, Miz Gump. His IQ's 75. Mrs. Gump: Well, we're all different, Mr. Hancock.

You can sit here if you want.

Bubba: You ever been on a real shrimp boat? Forrest: No. But I been on a real big boat.

Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Where are you boys from in the world? Forrest Gump, Bubba: Alabama, sir! Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: You twins? Forrest Gump: No Sir, we are not relations.

Jenny Curran: Do you think I could fly off this bridge? Forrest Gump: What do you mean, Jenny? Jenny Curran: Nothing.

Jenny Curran: You can't keep trying to rescue me all the time. Forrest Gump: They was trying to grab you. Jenny Curran: A lot of people try to grab me.

You can't sit here.

Yeah. Sir, you might want to send a maintenance man over to that office across the way. The lights are off and they must be looking for a fuse box, 'cause them flashlights, they're keeping me awake.

Dorothy Harris: You understand this is the bus to the school, now, don'tcha? Forrest Gump Jr.: Of course. You're Dorothy Harris, and I'm Forrest Gump.

You have to do the best with what god gave you.

Zooey's Friend #2: Wait, Vegas? You're not worried he's gonna cheat on you? Denise: He's 40 pounds overweight with a Jewfro and a small dick.

Peter: Yes! In your face! In your... All: Holy shit! Peter: I'm sorry. Barry: Get out of my house. Peter: I'm so sorry. Barry: Just get out of my fucking house.

Yes, the open house and we met... Anyway, no rush. You call me back whenever you get a mo. Get a moment. And we will talk when I talk to you. All right. Hope you're having a great day. Okay. Bye, now.

You don't wanna get another tongue fucking at the valet stand.

You just seemed like a good dude. I thought I'd see if you wanted to grab a beer. That's all.

Tevin: What do they have in the bathroom? Urinal cakes with my face on it. Peter: Does it... I don't see how that would... Tevin: I've had people come up to me on the streets and say, "I know you from somewhere." "Yeah, you do. You pissed on my face, friend."

You got the steak, but I got the sizzle, my nizzle.

Peter Klaven: She was very nice looking. Sydney Fife: Yeah... I fucked her.

Peter Klaven: Look man you told my fiancee she needs to give me bloweys, in front of my whole family. Alright you owe me. Sydney Fife: You make a valid point.

Sydney: Ow. Haley: Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sydney: Fuck! Haley: Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry, Sydney. Sorry. Sydney: Motherfucker! Fucking cock in my fucking shit! God! Mary. Peter: You okay, man? Haley: I'm sorry. Sydney: This is my nightmare!

You're a whore, Peter.

Hey, I want you boys to know, you're both my best friends.

You got it, Joban.

Sydney Fife: You get home safe, Pistol. Peter Klaven: You got it, Joben. Sydney Fife: I'm sorry, what? Peter Klaven: Er... nothing. Sydney Fife: No, what did you say? Peter Klaven: Nah, I don't know... You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you... "Joben"... It means nothing... I don't... I'm drunk... ...

You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.

Malone: You want to throw your garbage? Throw it in the goddamn trash basket. Ness: Don't you have more important things to do? Malone: Yeah. But I'm not doing them right now.

Malone: You got a beef? What is it? Ness: How did you know I had a gun? Malone: What do you want, a free lesson in police work?

You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement. Make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson.

Malone: You said you wanted to know how to get Capone. Do you really want to get him? You see what I'm saying? What are you prepared to do? Ness: Everything within the law. Malone: And then what are you prepared to do? If you open the ball on these people, Mr. Ness, you must be prepared to go all the way. Becaus...

Malone: You carry a badge? Wallace: Yes. Malone: Carry a gun.

You fellows are untouchable, is that the thing?

You're mucking with the G, here, pal. You're gonna hang higher than Hayman unless you cooperate.

You're dead.

You're mucking with the G, here, pal.

Jimmy: Gosh, i'm getting sick. You smell like aftershave and taco meat. Chazz: Yes, I do. Now scoot over.

You an official here? 'cause you have officially given me a boner.

Bryce: You drunk? Chazz: No. But this ought to do it. Bryce: I would fire you if you weren't so goddamn beautiful out there. You smell like urine. Chazz: A lot? Bryce: Get your head on.

You look great, Jimmy. You look amazing. Your hair rocks. Thanks. You look so good. Oh, my gosh. Do you look at yourself? I totally wanna cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday. It's coming up.

You gotta start skating again, Jimmy. What? It's embarrassing stalking a has-been, you know what I mean? Look, I almost gave up on you. I started working with that Ukrainian skater, you know the one that looks like elvis? And I moved to the Ukraine and it was cold and everyone had guns and smelled like soup.

doink

You know, it takes a lot of nerve to spend a beautiful evening with someone and then never call them again.

You know how to send a guy out with a real great attitude boss.

You got a name, cop?

Bob: You know, you got a big career as a forger, if you decide to go that way. Jack: Thank you, Bob.

Reggie: You said bullshit and experience is all it takes right? Jack: Right. Reggie: Come on and experience some of my bullshit.

Reggie: Man, you loaded here. What the fuck did you get this? Redneck: Tax refund! Reggie: Bullshit! You're too fuckin' stupid to have a job!

You make more goddamn noise than a busted chain saw.

You're just a crook on a weekend pass! You're not even a goddamn name anymore! You're just a spearchucker with a number stencilled on the back of his prison fatigues!

Reggie: Oh, you're gonna kick my ass now? I think you lost your mind, Cates. Just put your gun back in your holster and get in the car and let's go. I'm serious. I'm not in the mood and I'm just gonna end up fuckin' you up out here and it's gonna be an embarrassment to you and the police force. Jack: Let me explai...

Jack: You switch from an armed robber to a pimp, you're all set. Reggie: A ha, ha... hooo!

Bartender: You come here often, home? Jack: Yeah. This is my favorite place.

You god damn Whiskey McCop. You lost a stolen bus! I got five deaths related to Ganz, and you blow it for a lousy nigger convict! That's right! I called him a nigger! You bet I did.

Reggie: Don't you think you're being kinda hard on the guy? Haden: You go fuck yourself, convict!

Chazz: You didn't see shit! Jimmy: Coach! COACH: Shut up! (EXCLAIMS) Chazz: Throw me some chicken!

You know what I got for my tenth birthday? A six-pack of protein shakes and a subscription to Men's Health.

You do not go far enough, General Amin. We must rip their entrails out and drag them to Damascus until they include us in the peace process.

Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-? Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud? Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.

Marcia: You may live your life one way, but we Brady's follow our own drummer. So, I hope this doesn't sour the rest of our date. Doug: You Brady's suck!

You wouldn't believe how much I dig her.

You're going to fool everyone, Gary. Or should I say......Hakmed.

Truck Driver: Ya dumb broad! Driving instructor: All right, Stephanie, gently extend your arm. Extend your middle finger. Very good. Well done.

You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Mayor: Oh, Drebin, I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the South Side. Understand? That's my policy. Frank: Yes. Well, when I see 5 weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy. Mayor: That was a Shakespea...

Dr. Meinheimer: You're thinking about him again, aren't you? What was his name? Frank? Jane: Yes. Dr. Meinheimer: You just can't forget about him, can you? Jane: Who?

Banquet Doorman: Your coat, sir? Lt. Frank Drebin: Yes, it is. And I have a receipt to prove it.

You might have all the others fooled, but not me. Your acting was reckless, and it put us all in danger. The next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll drill two holes through your dick so that when you pee, it shoots out in all different directions. You got it?

You Bradys suck!

You're really happening in a far-out way.

Jane: You're so insensitive. Frank: This isn't that toilet seat thing again, is it?

You know, Cindy, when you tattle on someone, you're not just telling on them. You're telling on yourself. And, by tattling on someone, you're really just telling them, "I'm a tattletale." Now, is that the tale you want to tell?

No, you're whistling up the wrong neck of the woods.

You're listening to K.S.A.D, all depressing, all the time.

Frank: You're coming on to me big time, sister. You're purring like a kitten with a fresh mouse, but we got a problem. Tanya: You're Jewish?

Frank: You're rocco's girl. In my book, that chapter's called "look, but don't touch." Tanya: I could have two lovers. Frank: Kinky. I like my sex the way I play basketball... one on one and with as little dribbling as possible.

Jane: You'll never stop Rocco. Your chances are one in a million. Frank: That's still better than any state lottery.

With this, the Slashie, mean...is you consider me the best actor slash model...and not the other way around.

Carol: Together... we're a Bunch. Cindy, Bobby, Peter, Jan, and Maricia: Yeah. The Brady Bunch.

You're such a loser.

Mr. Yaeger: You know, I was over there once. One bathroom for nine people? Woman's Voice: Get out of here. Woman: Oh, stop, please. Mr. Yaeger: And I never did see a toilet. Woman's Voice: Please, they've got to put it somewhere. Another Woman's Voice: Yes. Yes.

Richard: You have derailed. Tommy: Shut up Richard!

Marcia: He is so dreamy, isn't he? Noreen: Yeah, I guess. If you like that sort of thing.

Jane Spencer: You came highly recommended by our last therapist. Dr. Stuart Eisendrath: Yes, I was sorry to hear about his suicide.

You shall have a front-row seat. Bring her upstairs!

Gary: You can't be serious. Spottswoode: Oh, I am serious. Look... this is my serious face.

Tanya Peters: What are you doing? Frank Drebin: Oh! I was, uh, just contemplating my next move. Tanya Peters: Your bishop's exposed. Frank Drebin: It's these pants.

Now let's see if you can defend yourself, you sweat from a baboon's balls.

So you can have a woman who will obey your every command, but you'd rather have a woman who has an opinion?

Hippopotamus shit! You're the heir to the throne of Zamunda. Your wife need only have a pretty face, firm backside and big breasts like casaba melons.

King Joffer: You're right! Get out, see the world. Enjoy yourself. Fulfill every erotic desire, and in 40 days, you will come back and marry Imani. Akeem: But, Father... King Joffer: It is settled.

Cab Driver: You dumb fuck! Prince Akeem: Take us to Queens at once.

Got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that.

Morris: I'll whip your ass Clarence. Don't be callin' me no... Clarence: You tar black motherfucker.

I don't know why but I specifically looked at her and said, "Yeah Brenda, why are you so ugly?" And to this day, I will never ever forgive myself for doing that to that girl cause I know exactly how she felt.

So your worth as a young girl in this society is based on: what clothed do you have? what shoes are you wearing? how many calories have you restricted? are you thin enough?

You're supposed to be a friend. You're not supposed to be a person that makes me cry. You're supposed to be the one that lets me lean on your shoulder when I am crying.

Cleo McDowell: You know how to mop? Prince Akeem: Yes, of course. Cleo McDowell: There you go... Ah, don't use the bucket. It'll just confuse you.

Clarence: I met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once. Sweets: Man, you lyin'. You ain't never met no Martin Luther the King.

King Joffer: You are not Akeem. Landlord: I know that.

You and you, you've just become nurses. Let's go.

Kirk: Wait. Your place is on the bridge of your ship. I'll take care of it.

Charlie you got a bad rap, but your just like Bruce Willis...you know, you were big in the 80's and now your slot's being filled with Ashton Kutcher.

You are the damn dumbest smart kid I know.