Charley: You can't kill me here. Jerry: I don't want to kill you, Charley. I want you to bring Peter Vincent to my house, just the two of you. That is, if you ever want to see Amy, again.

You wanted her, there she is.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You have to have faith for that to work, Mr. Vincent. Remember?

You're out of time, Mr. Dandridge. Look over your shoulder.

For practice purposes only.

Peter: Think positive, Frank. Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic.

You stop playing with your food, or I'll give you something to cry about. You better stop fooling around with that and eat it, or you'll be sorry.

Harry: Hey, hey! You gotta watch out for traffic, son. You know? Kevin McCallister: Sorry. Harry: Damn! Marv: Santy don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy. Harry: Okay, okay. Merry Christmas.

Megan McCallister: You're not at all worried that something might happen to Kevin? Buzz McCallister: No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we have smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Per...

Check Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself? Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.

You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho!

Yeah, I got a madman in my studio and... Help me!

You built a bomb?

You can always count on me.

Marley: You been a good boy this year? Kevin: I think so. Marley: Swear to it? Kevin: No.

Kevin McCallister: No offense, aren't you too old to be afraid? Marley: You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid!

The Old Man: Get the glue. Mother: We're out of glue. The Old Man: You used up all the glue on purpose!

Mother: You ready to tell me? all right. Where did you hear that word? Ralphie: now, I had heard that word at least 10 times a day from my old man. My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium-- a master. But I chickened out, and I blurted out the first nam...

You bomb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!

You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?

Marley: You live next to me, don't you? Kevin: Yeah. Marley: You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid. There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true.

Mrs. Munchnik's voice: You have reached the office of Lifesavers. All lines are busy. If you are truly on the verge of suicide and calling from a touch tone phone, press one. If you are merely depressed, stay on the line. A friendly voice will be with you shortly. Gracie: What am I supposed to do? I don't have a t...

Booster: Greenely, where the hell have you been? I've been sweating like a dog in a Chinese restaurant waiting for your sorry ass to show up. Well...It's show time. Howard: I know you. You're Booster. Booster: Yeah, and who the hell do you think you are... Mary Poppins?

You're hopeless, Charlie Brown.

You've been dumb before, Charlie Brown, but this time you really did it.

Brad: You sure can talk the talk, you crazy little slut. But, can you deliver the goodies?

Brad: Yeah, come here. Toothpaste and all. - I love you, Kate. Kate: I love you. Brad: You are the best girl in the whole world.

You really spell families without lies. Try it!

Brad: You're right. Here's all we got to do. Get through these Four Christmases...

Denver: You must be Orlando's girl. Kate: Orlando? Denver: We're named after the cities in which we're conceived. I'm Denver, that's Dallas. And this is Orlando. Kate: Orlando? Brad: My given name is Orlando. But I changed it to Brad.

Howard: Your grandmother's boyfriend is a first class ass sniffer. You can tell him I said so.

Howard: You can't spell "families" without lies, am I right?

Marilyn: You're the longest relationship she's ever had with a man. Brad: With a man?

You ate your twin sister, took all of her powers.

Marilyn: You're staged trained. You played Pippin in High School. Kate: No. I wasn't Pippin, I was in Pippin. I played a tree because I had a bad stage fright, remember?

Paula: And you must be Kate. Kate: Yes. Paula: She's a darling. Kate: Thanks. Nice to meet you.

Brad: You can't be sleeping with my mom and still be my friend, OK?

Darryl: Your mother is a very sexual being. Brad: She's a very what? Darryl: She's a great lover. Brad: Say that again and I'll bust your mouth open.

Stanley: January 2. Out! Philip: You don't care, Stanley Tanenbaum. You're one of the people who doesn't care. Stanley: Of course not. I'm the landlord.

You could see the bright side of a plague.

Felix: Look what I got for you! This means that we can have the baby in a hospital for free! All we have to do is swear that we're completely broke and have absolutely no way of supporting ourselves and never will. Gracie Barzini: Oh God! Felix, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but... Felix: Honey, you are th...

She practically gave me rabies! You don't "practically" get rabies. You either get rabies or you don't get rabies. There's no in between.

Philip: May I put you on hold while I run to my desk? Uh... you're not calling from a bridge or holding a weapon, are you? Hotline Caller: No. Philip: Good.

Catherine O'Shaughnessy, get a grip on yourself. Okay, so the only present you got is from your mother. So? You have nothing to do on New Year's Eve for the tenth consecutive year. You're a very lucky person. You have a wonderful job and... you have a wonderful job. So there. So there!

You have reached the Los Angeles Times. If you would like to order a subscription, please press 1. If your newspaper did not arrive this morning, press 2. If you would like to place a classified ad, press 3. If you would like to speak to the editorial desk, city desk, national desk, international desk, sports desk, ...

Charlie: You know, Neal's a real good cook. Scott: Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.

You're a vile one Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. Mr. Grinch given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the, uh... seasick crocodile.

You're a foul one Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty waspy skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk. Mr. Grinch the three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, stink, stank, stunk.

You're upset because it's Christmas. Christmas is a time when you look at your life through a magnifying glass, and whatever you don't have feels overwhelming.

Nurse: You killed him. Herbert: No, I did not. I gave him life.

You make the incision at the base of the skull, cutting away enough of the fat here, to get your fingers in, and then grasping firmly with both hands, you pull the skin forward over the head, very much like peeling a large orange.

Dan Cain: You couldn't call or write a note. Herbert West: I was busy pushing bodies around as you well know, and what would a note say, Dan? Cat dead, details later?

You know, I would not want to see a fellow student, especially one as promising as yourself, be thrown out of school, out of the profession......on moral ground.

Mace: You ain't got my lunch under there, have you? Dan Cain: Yeah, one meatball run over by a semi. Mace: Ew!

Your father's been lobotomized.

You'll never get credit for my discovery. Who's gonna believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow.

Ivan Checkov: You know why I fucking come here? I come here to kill you. But now, I no think I fucking kill you. I kill your brother. Shoot him in the head. Connor: Fuck you! Ivan Checkov: Gotta go. Connor: Murph! Murphy: Connor!: It was just a fucking bar fight! You guys are fucking pussies!

You insignificant little fuck!

Connor: Okay, Roc... Rocco: What? You guys got masks. Murphy: You look like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert. Rocco: Fine! Fuck it. When we're done, she can ID me. I don't care. Just trying to be professional, but nooooo... Connor: It looks fine! Rocco: Fuck it. Connor: Now shut the fuck up, you look good. Put...

Your father and I used him three times in twenty years, only when things got totally fucked. Whenever we needed one of our own bumped off, we called this guy in. He had a thing for clipping wiseguys, but only one rule: No women, no kids. Believe me, kid, you don't want this guy unless you are one hundred percent sur...

You know, you should have stolen more of Gruber's ideas, then, at least you'd have ideas!

You can't stop! You'll get out of here. Don't ever stop.

Il Duce: You people have been chosen to reveal our existence to the world! You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later. All eyes to the front. Yakavetta: Now's a good time to fucking... Connor: Shut your fucking mouth! Il Duce: You must watch dear. It'll all be over soon.

You must watch, dear. It'll all be over soon.

You know, I thought you'd be... Bigger.

Private Cox: You're lucky that old man Hummel wants you alive. Private McCoy: 'Cause I'll take pleasure in guttin' you, boy.

Jane Brewster: You've been stressed or something. Amy? Charley Brewster: Amy is good. Hasn't dumped me yet, so...

You reading those books again? The Power of Whatever-the-Hell?

You let them brush your hair, My Pretty Pony?

You don't want me to spaz out? Oh, my God! It's so horrible! Crossing the streams! Will high school as we know it cease to exist?

Charley: You said after school. Ed: I meant right after. This is dusk. Do you know what that means? Charley: No, I have no idea. Let me consult my pocket dictionary. Ed: Nice.

Charley: You read way too much Twilight. Ed: That's fiction. This is real.

You know when my life started to get better? When I stopped being friends with you.

You back the fuck up! I'm armed! I know how to use this thing!

Amy: You weren't in class. What are you working on? Charley: Porn.

You think I'm hanging out with Dracula? And the Easter bunny? Fuck off.

Peter: You know this is a trap, right? Charley: I'm counting on it.

You've got your mother's eyes. And your father's aim.

Amy: You missed. Peter: I know.

You can't stay there forever, Charley. The sun's got to go down, but we can wait.

Amy: You stress too much. Charley: No, I don't. Amy: Yeah, you do. You do your worried thing. Charley: What's my "worried thing"? Amy: Your worried thing. Charley: I don't have a worried thing. I never make that face. Amy: All the time.

Amy: You okay? Charley: I should probably... Amy: Get back to your porn?

You stop in the middle of the road, you got a taillight out.

Morgan: You know, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck, but you don't look like much to me. Dalton: Opinions vary.

Emmet: You honest? Dalton: Yes, sir. Emmet: You expect me to believe that? Dalton: No, sir.

You're a dead man.

You are the bouncers. I am the cooler. All you have to do is watch my back and each other's, and take out the trash.

Dalton: Yo, Steve! You're history. Steve: But I'm on my break! Dalton: Stay on it. Steve: Ah, shit!

Doc: Your file says you've got a degree from NYU. What in? Dalton: Philosophy. Doc: Any particular discipline? Dalton: No. Not really. Man's search for faith. That sort of shit. Doc: Come up with any answers? Dalton: Not too many. Doc: How's a guy like you end up a bouncer? Dalton: Just lucky I guess.

You got a skinny little runt named Dalton working here?

I can't believe you're still dragging that shit around with you. It seems to me, you'd be a little more philosophical about it, and cut it the fuck loose.

So you, too, are a liar. Capital "l", small "i", small "a", small "r", period. Now shut the fuck up.

You know, that fucking cun... that girl never told you she was married. Did she? And when a man sticks a gun in your face, you got 2 choices. You can die, or you can kill the motherfucker.

Jimmy: Prepare to die. Dalton: You are such an asshole.

You're a real cunt, do you know that? A real fucking cunt! How can you be so shitty to people? How can you stand yourself?

Yes, won't I be late for my date? You are going to love my date. You'll like her as much as I do, I'm going to bring her back real soon for you all to enjoy.

You want some hard-boiled eggs while you're waiting?

You can shove 2.30, hack!

You see, she sort of has some problems. Nothing serious, but, you know-- I mean, she just loves eggs,

Yeah. She looks real good. She'll do just fine.

You have exactly 15 seconds to get off of my property, motherfucker, before I break your goddamn neck.

You shouldn't mind staying in here, Channing. It's rather obvious that you are, to use vulgar slang, a closet queen, as they call it.

Yes, I believe a woman does live there, if you could call her a woman. She is a whore, officer.

Crackers: You never see the Marbles? Never? The First Lesbian: No. Only Chan, this repulsive pervert you have tied up. The Second Lesbian: Please, he raped us both so we'd become pregnant. The Marbles just sit up there waiting for us to die in childbirth, and then they sell the poor babies.

You're gonna get it good, bitch!

You know who I am, bitch! I'm the filthiest person alive.

You think every time I look in the mirror I shout, "Gee, I'm glad I'm me...and not some 19-year-old billionaire rock star with the body of an athlete... And a 24-hour erection"? No, I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!

Young Johnny Blaze: Yeah, sure. Barton Blaze: What? Young Johnny Blaze: I said, "Yes, sir."

Young Johnny Blaze: You killed him. Mephistopheles: I cured his cancer. That was the deal. But I couldn't let him come between... us.

You're mine, Johnny Blaze.

Johnny Blaze: What? Mack: What? You should be taking a dirt nap after that ragdoll today. Johnny Blaze: I got lucky. Mack: I got a huntin dog named Lucky. He's got one eye and no nuts. Luck don't cover it, JB. Man, you got an angel looking after you. Johnny Blaze: Yeah maybe. Team Member: Mack, you in? ...

Scott: You know what we're gonna do, is we're gonna get outta here because this whole thing is stupid. Charlie: How come everything I want to do is stupid?

Sarah: You're s'posed to drink the milk. Scott: Look, I am lactose intolerant.

You leave tomorrow morning. You have 11 months to get your affairs in order and you're due back here Thanksgiving.

Bernard: Ugh! Look, you put a "p" next to the kids who are nice and a "c" next to the naughty ones. Scott: "p" and "c"? Charlie: Yeah! "p" for present, "c" for coal, right, Bernard?

You wouldn't want to be responsible for killing the spirit of Christmas, now, would you Santa?

You could've said no. When they asked you to interview me, you could've said no.

You can eat shit for all I care, Miss Sandstone,

You shithead, where are my pills? That bitch can afford it.

You fucking little dingleberry! That's what you're like, you fucking bowl of shit!

Yes, Edie, yes, yes, yes. I'll make you the happiest egglady ever.

Yeah.

Yes. I am also not a pussy.

Michael: You think the pet rock was a really great idea? Tom: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars.

Yeah, hi, it's Bill Lumbergh. It's about... 10:00. Yeah. Just, uh... Wondering where you are. [ring] [beep] yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh again. Uh... I just wanted to make sure you knew that we did start at the, uh... Usual time this morning. Yeah. It isn't a half day or anything like that, so if you could just go a...

Michael: Yeah, he's--he's... He's pretty-- he's pretty good, I guess. Bob#1: You're Goddamn right, he is.

Sarah: You're fatter this year. Santa: Thank you very much. You've grown too. And you were a very good girl this year, but I want you to go back to sleep, okay?

You gave me a wonderful gift. Listen, a wonderful gift. You believed in me when nobody else did. You helped make me Santa.

Johnny: I'm not doin' it. Mephistopheles: You don't have any choice.

Impound Worker: Hey, you can't be here this is private.. property. Blackheart: There was a cemetery here. Impound Worker: Uh, yeah a long time ago. Blackheart: What happened to the graves? Impound Worker: They moved them. Blackheart: Where? Impound Worker: I don't know. Blackheart: Who would? Impound...

You should see a doctor, a shrink. A dietitian, anything. Just get some help.

Jenko: Hey, you want to be friends? Schmidt: Fuck yeah, I do.

Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?

I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times around the genital area, that your dick's just gonna fall off.

You forgot to read him his Miranda Rights, do you even know the Miranda Rights?

Jenko: Look, it obviously starts with "you have the right to remain an attorney..." Police Captain: Did you just say "you have the right to be an attorney?" Schmidt: You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.

Joanna: You're just not gonna go? Peter: Yeah. Joanna: Won't you get fired? Peter: I don't know.

Michal: You were supposed to come in on Saturday. What were you doing? Peter: Michael, I did nothing, I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.

You're going down.

You think I'm pretty, right?

Your soul is stained by the blood of the innocent. Feel their pain.

You know what? I think I had you pegged wrong. I don't think you have a brain in your fuckin' head. Merry Christmas.

Yeah. Did you get that memo?

Bob#1: Yeah, Bill, let me ask you a real quick question here. How much time would you say you spend each week dealing with these T.P.S. Reports? Lumbergh: Yeah...

You almost kill yourself on the highway so you can ask me out, and then you don't show. Then you keep my picture, but when I kiss you, you try to shove me out the door. What's...? What's going on?

You'll think I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy. I hope I'm crazy.

Rose Chasseur: I assume that, uh, as you've built highways of communication, eh, you have discussed Caroline's adultery. Caroline Chasseur: What? You told your mother?

Yes, Dr. Wong, why don't you tell us all about your treatment. In detail. It'll be so... Fascinating.

Caroline Chasseur: You won't talk about it in therapy, but you'll discuss it behind my back... With that bitch! Lloyd Chasseur: Hey, she's my mother. Gus: She's a fuckin' bitch, Lloyd.

You're a slow learner, aren't you, Rider? You cannot catch the wind!

You cannot catch the wind!

You don't watch TV? What's the matter with you?

You know, you seem like a nice lady, and you're purty and all, but we were ridin' the gravy train on biscuit wheels, and then you showed up, and everything went to hell. So why don't you just go back to wherever it is you came from?

You're gonna fall. Just like your father.

You have his heart. Now I'm gonna break it.

Ghost Rider: Look into my eyes. Blackheart: Your Penance stare won't work on me. I've no soul to burn.

Now, listen to me, and try to get it through that thick skull of yours. You don't work for my father anymore. You work for me.

Mephistopheles: Congratulations, Johnny. You upheld your end of the bargain. It's time I take back the power of the Ghost Rider. You get your life back. The love you've always wanted. You can start a family of your own. There are more deals to be made. More people willing to give their souls for what they desire. Le...

You got your second chance. Go out there and make the best of it.

Mack: Yeah, well, if this gets out in the press, his career is over. Roxanne Simpson: Yeah, trust me, his career's the least of it. Mack: You know, you seem like a nice lady, and you're purty and all but we were riding the gravy train on biscuit wheels around here, and then you showed up, everything went to hel...

you don't know me, but I love him.

You. Guilty.

Young Ben Gates: Grandpa! John Adams Gates: You're not supposed to be up here, looking at that.

Peter: You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. Joanna: What?

Yes, we are in very, very, deep shit.

Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill? Her fucking--her children would have hooves.

You know what that dollar represents? The entire Gates family fortune.

You just give us the name of one drug dealer. I mean, I could talk to him. I have good networking skill.

You are a very... Bad person, Peter.

Peter: You're not working at chotchkie's anymore, huh? Joanna: No, no. I got fired. Peter: What happened? Joanna: I flipped off my boss. Some customers, actually a line cook, but he just happened to be standing there, so...

Riley: Oh! Oh! Oh, God! Ben: You handled that well.

Connie Chasseur: You know, with all her money, what does she think? She's gonna take it with her? Gary Chasseur: I think that's the plan.

You know what, Mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next christmas? A big wooden cross. So every time you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

Gus: You know, lady, I'd like to tie you to the back of a fuckin' truck. Rose Chasseur: You don't have the balls.

You know, I think things are gonna be different with Dad. If they're not, I'll blackmail him. See ya, Gus.

You know something? You are a piece of work, pal. I tell you to get a boat, and this is what you get? Get out of the fuckin' way.

Murray, Gus' Driver: Uh, Gussie? Gus: What? Murray, Gus' Driver: When are we gonna open presents? Gus: Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? I'll tell you what. As soon as we get back, we're gonna open the presents. Matter of fact, I'll tell ya. I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant, fuckin' ca...

You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and if it doesn't, you get to act any way you want. Problem with that is someone still has to be responsible. I'd love to run around taking classes and playing with my inner-selfness. I'd lo...

You know what this family needs? A mute.

Gus: You know, lady, I'd like to tie you to the back of a fuckin' truck. Rose Chasseur: You don't have the balls. Lloyd Chasseur: No, no! Gus: I just want to hit her. Lloyd Chasseur: Don't. It's not worth it. Gus: I want-I fuckin' hate her, Lloyd. Lloyd Chasseur: I know. I know. Mary, gag your grandma. G...

Abigail Chase: You're treasure hunters, aren't you? Ben Gates: We're more like treasure protectors.

You look at them and see the defenders of the world. All I see is my dad wearing tights.

Josie: You hungry? I've got plenty of eggs, bacon. Layla: No, thanks. You know how my mom can communicate with animals? Apparently, they don't like being eaten.

Ben: You're not hurt, are you? Abigail: You are all lunatics! Ben: You hungry? Abigail: What?! Ben: Are you all right? Riley: Still a little on edge from being shot at, but I'll be OK. Thanks for asking.

Ben Gates: You all right? Abigail Chase: No, those… those lunatics... Ben Gates: You're not hurt, are you? Abigail Chase: You're all lunatics! Ben Gates: You hungry? Abigail Chase: What? Ben Gates: Are you all right? Riley Poole: Still a little on edge from being shot at but I'll be fine, thanks for as...

Abigail Chase: Verdammt! Give me that! Ben Gates: You know something? You're shouting again. Riley Poole: Pretty sure she was swearing too. Ben Gates: Well, we probably deserved that.

What happened? You said the thing was supposed to work. Technically, it did work.

Abigail Chase: You have the original Silence Dogood letters? Steal those too? Ben Gates: We have scans of the originals. Quiet, please. Abigail Chase: How did you get scans? Ben Gates: I know the person who has the originals, now shush. Abigail Chase: Why do you need them? Ben Gates: She really can't shut ...

Riley: You don't know this? I... I know something about history that you don't know. Ben: I'd be very excited to learn about it, Riley.

Lloyd Chasseur: She's my mother. Gus: She's a fuckin' bitch, Lloyd. Lloyd Chasseur: You are not supposed to take sides. Caroline Chasseur: No, no, no. Thank you so much, Gus. Finally somebody else sees. Gus: You'd have to be blind not to see.

Sadusky: You know, the Templars and the Freemasons believed that the treasure was too great for any one man to have, not even a king. That's why they went to such lengths to keep it hidden. Ben Gates: That's right. The founding fathers believed the same thing about government. I figure their solution will work for...

Caroline Chasseur: You're the one who suffocated him with limitations. Our son's a very sensitive, creative- Lloyd Chasseur: juvenile delinquent. Caroline Chasseur: - boy. He has the kind of imagination- Lloyd Chasseur: -that the mafia gives scholarships for.

Nick: You guys kind of remind me of me when I was your age. Just trying to get drunk any chance I get. I bet you got the fridge full of beer, right? 15 year old #1: Man, we don't have anything. Nick: Really? 15 year old #2: Could you get us some beer? Nick: Me? Um... Listen, I shouldn't do this but if you gi...

You have a great personality.

You know the key to running a convincing bluff? Every once in a while, you've got to be holding all the cards.

Steve: Five. Michael: Oh, great. Steve: So you got an arrow right in your chest.

Get out

You have absolute power. Yes. Eerrp!

Michael: You know, Elliot, he doesn't look too good anymore. Elliott: Don't say that! We're fine! Michael: What's all this "we" stuff? You say "we" all the time.

You could be happy here. I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T.