Terrance: "All right drop the fuckin' gun! Drop the fuckin' gun! Gimmie this motherfucker. Now back the fuck up before I kick you in your bitch ass chin. Back the fuck up! I said, back the fuck up! Didn't I say back the fuck up! Everybody back the fuck... (gunshot)" Nick: "(groans in pain)" Terrance: "Oh shit." Nic...

"You don't say sorry when you shoot someone. You say you're sorry when you step on someone's toe or you accidentally break their glasses or you fart while they're eating. You don't say you're sorry when you shoot someone!"

Nick: "You shot me!" Terrace: "I'm sorry." Nick: "You shot me!" Terrace: "I'm sorry." Nick: "You don't say sorry when you shoot someone. You say you're sorry when you step on someone's toe or you accidentally break their glasses or you fart while they're eating. You don't say you're sorry when you shoot someone! Ah ...

Nick: "Oh, This is very nice. That's very nice. It's very nice. Oh, I don't think I've seen a more beautiful piece of shit. " Terrance: "Nick... Get..." Nick: "Very nice. Very nice. That was good." Terrance: "That's great. You done cut the dick off a statue."

Pete: "You stole from my kin!" Everett: "Who was fixin' to betray us." Pete: "You didn't know that at the time." Everett: "So I borrowed it until I did know." Pete: "That don't make no sense!" Everett: "Pete, it's a fool, looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."

"You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers."

Junior O'Daniel: "Well, ain't you gonna press the flesh, Pappy? Do a little politickin'?" Pappy O'Daniel: "I'll press your flesh, you dimwhitted sumbitch. You don't tell your pappy how to court the electorate. We ain't on-at-a-timin' here. We're mass communicatin'!"

Everett: "What about you, Delmar? What are you gonna do with your share of that dough?" Delmar: "I'm gonna visit them foreclosein' son of a guns down at the Indianola Savings and Loan. Slap that money on the barrel head and buy back the family farm. You ain't no kind of man if you ain't got land."

"End of lesson. So long, boys. Hee hee hee. See ya in the funny papers. Y'all have seen the end of Big Dan Teague."

Lawman: "Where they headed?" Pete: "(Pete gets whipped.) Aah!" Lawman: "Your screams ain't gonna save your flesh. (Whipped again.) Only your tongue is, boy."

Rick: "You're not wearing underwear." Anna: "You can't with this dress." Rick: "Oh, your excuse is better than mine."

"Hey, yeah, there you are! Come inside. You look so beautiful tonight I wanted to see if you wanted to dance. Come on. Not you. Him in his white tuxedo."

"I mean what are we gonna do now? You know, I'm not good at anything else. Not that I was good at this, whatever the hell this whole thing was but at least it was familiar to me."

"You ungrateful jerk!"

Majors: "You think this is funny, retard? Ow! Damn, what was that? You hit my ear. You even fight like a retard." Ted: "Do it! Call me retard one more time! Do it!" Majors: "Retard! Retard!" Ted: "I hate you! I hate you!" Majors: "Ow!"

"You know, things worked out pretty well for our friends up here on Bull Mountain."

Majors: "Hey, you're pretty good on that thing, son." Rick: "Yeah, I'm a genius."

"You're going to learn to obey me."

"Yeah, very good, go home you fucking lunatic!"

"You fucking coward."

Caller: "You'd shoot me if you got the chance, wouldn't you?" Stu: "With a big fucking smile on my face."

Caller: "Get up Stuart!" Stu: "I... I..." Caller: "Stand up and be a man. You're embarassing yourself."

Neal: "I hailed a cab on Park Avenue this afternoon, and before I could get in it, you stole it." Del: "You're the guy who tried to get my cab! I knew I knew you, yeah... you scared the bejeezes out of me. (laughs) Come to think of it, it was awful easy to get a cab during rush hour."

Guy in Cab: "Anyone who'd pay $50 for a cab... would certainly pay 75." Neal: "Not necessarily.... alright, $75. You're a thief." Guy in Cab: "Close. I'm an attorney."

Del: "You play with your balls a lot." Neal: "I do not "play with my balls." Del: "Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball handling in one night as you do in an hour." Neal: "Are you trying to start a fight?" Del: "No, I'm simply stating a fact, that's all. You fidgit with your nuts a lot." Neal: "You know what would mak...

Pappy O'Daniel: "Yeah, well, you'll be laughing out the other side of your face come November." Pappy's Staff 2: "Pappy O'Daniel will be laughing then." Pappy's Staff 1: "Not out the other side of his face, though." Pappy's Staff 2: "Oh, no, no, no. Just the regular side."

Pappy O'Daniel: "In the second Pappy O'Daniel administration, these boys is gonna be my brain trust." Delmar: "What's that mean, Everett?" Everett: "Well, Delmar, it means that you and me and Pete and Tommy are going to be the power behind the throne, so to speak." Delmar: "Oh, okay."

"You have eluded fate, and you have eluded me for the last time. Tie their hands, boys."

"You dirty swine! I never cared for you, not one bit. I was always making a fool of ya. Ya bored me stiff, I hated ya. It made me sick when I had to let ya kiss me. I only did it because ya begged me, ya hounded me and drove me crazy! And after ya kissed me, I always used to wipe my mouth! Wipe my mouth!"

"You dirty swine!"

Rick: "So, you still want to hook up?" Jenny: "You gotta try a lot harder than that, Rick." Rick: "(Softer) So, you still want to hook up? How's that?" Jenny: "Good night." Rick: "Good night."

Ted: "Some mountain, huh?" Majors: "Yeah, but the name 'Bull Mountain' it's a little too... shitty." Ted: "You want to rename the mountain?" Majors: "Yeah, Something good."

Majors: "You any good on that board there, son?" Rick: "I'm alright." Majors: "You wouldn't mind playing tour guide to an old fart like like me, would you?" Eric: "Actually Rick's got a pretty heavy workload tomorrow but I would be delighted to show you around the mountain." Majors: "No offense, Short Stack, but you...

"You enjoy your nap?"

"Yeah."

"I was there. Yeah, it was called the 80's. Ford was president, Nixon was in the White House, and FDR was runnin' this country into the ground."

Luke: "Oh my god!" Anna: "How aro you?" Luke: "I'm fine." Anna: "It's been a long time." Luke: "Yeah." Anna: "What are you doing here?" Luke: "I was having a beer." Anna: "In Alaska?" Luke: "Well, I like cold beer, yeah." Anna: "Does that mean, uh, is Rick around?" Luke: "Om, no. You didn't hear? Rirk Perished in a ...

"You know what I really hate about this chick is that I think... I know that I'm in love with her. And it sucks."

"You, on the roof, knock off the grab ass."

Gang member: "Your ass is mine." Boddicker: "No... not yet it ain't."

OCP Boss: "Dick... you're fired!" Robocop: "Thank you. (Sound of gunshots as Dick gets blasted.)"

"Put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply."

"You ought to be fixin' dinner for Jack. You know, a man who wants to marry you, not some dogcatcher who makes 18 grand a year and comes home smellin' like cat piss every night."

Walter: "Close the Goddamn door." Gilly: "You have a robot?"

Gilly: "Hey, Jo. Who's Jack?" Jo: "What Jack?" Gilly: "You know, on your ass jack."

"Sweet lord. You ponied your sister."

Walter: "I'm gonna kick your ass." Jimmy: "What's that, Walter? You say you wanna lick my ass?"

"You are the sick man!"

"Damn cryin' shame. You can't trust anyone these days."

Dig: "Jack Mitchelson is the biggest marijuana grower in the Pacific Northwest." Gilly: "Mm-hmm." Dig: "You are not seeing the forest for the weed here, man. This dude's a pot grower, a reefer salesman, a doobie doctor."

Freddy: "Maybe you ought to be wearing your glasses." Jimmy: "Yeah, but they make me look stupid."

Gilly: "Dig, what are you doing up there?" Dig: "What do you mean, what am I doing up here? You ever try jumping off a roof with no legs? It stings!"

Streak: "You got any naked pictures of your sister?" Gilly: "Of course not." Streak: "Wanna buy some?"

"You owe me a lot of money for them nakeds!"

Joseph: "He's also a hermaphrodite....oohhh!! He's got both male and female sex organs." Thomas: "Think of the possibilites." Joseph: "Yeah, he could be impotent and frigid all at the same time."

"In my country, for violating a sacred beast, you get beaten to death with bamboo sticks! You're so sick mentally. Prevert!"

"You know how you got that dent on your top lip? Way back, before you were born, I told you a secret, then I put my finger there and I said....sshhh!"

"You did this! I'm gonn kill you! You..."

"You ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up?"

Walter: "Now, Waldine, don't be so sad. You're not losing a daughter here. You're gaining a son." Valdine: "Blow it out your ass, Walter."

"Yes, blow it up. Blow it back to God. All your life has been spent in persuit of archaeological relics. Inside the Ark are treasures beyond your wildest aspirations. You want to see it open as well as I."

"You knew how to handle that situation. Just shit your pants and dive in and swim."

"Hey, dew drop, can I have a word, just so we can be straight? Now I'm the professional celebrity guard here. My resume lists Julia Roberts, salmon Rushdi, Posh Spice. You are the Hollywood hangeroner, cause you're no good as a cop anymore. Your resume reads like an obituary, so, how about you take suggestions from ...

Jennifer Jolie: "You're obsessed with her, and you're obsessed with her daughter!" Gale: "Alright, easy Geraldo."

Randy Meeks: "If you find yourself dealing with an unexpected backstory, and a preponderance of exposition, then the sequal rules do not apply, because you ar not dealing with a sequel. You are dealing with the concluding chapter of a trilogy." Dewey: "A Trilogy?" Randy: "That's right, It's a rarity in the horror fi...

Dewey: "Be careful Sid, Randy said the killer is always superhuman." Sidney: "Yeah well, he wasn't superhuman, Dewey. He wasn't superhuman at all."

"Frankie, you broke the unwritten law. You ratted on your friends. When you do that Frankie, your enemies don't respect you. You got no friends no more. You got nobody Frankie."

"Yes, beautiful stars better see."

"Yo!"

Cousin Abraham 'Avi' Denovitz: "Eighty-six karats." Rosebud: "Where?" Cousin Avi: "London." Rosebud: "London?" Cousin Avi: "London." Avi's Colleague: "London?" Cousin Avi: "Yes, London. You know, fish, chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins. London!"

Sol: "Just worry about getting us a gun yeah." Vincent: "Yeah?" Sol: "What is that?" Vincent: "This isa a shotgun, Sol." Sol: "It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent." Vincent: "Yeah, well, I want to raise some pulses don't I?" Sol: "You'll raise hell, nevermind pulses."

Tommy: "You said get a good deal." Turkish: "I fail to recognize the correlation between losing 10 grand, hospitalizing Gorgeous and a good deal."

"You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums. And I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off."

Turkish: "We're not backing out." Brick Top: "You bet your bollocks to a barndance you're not backing out." Tommy: "We're changing the fighter." Brick Top: "Oh, fuck me, your lady friend got a voice? And who might you be changing him to sweetheart?" Turkish: "You won't know him, but he's mustard." Brick Top: "Mustar...

Gambler: "Well, thanks for the tip, Brick Top." Brick Top: "Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking jacobs off."

Mickey: "No, look, she wants the ??? with two roof lights. Uh the ???? ??? ???. And the ???? ???? with the matching ??? ????. Yeah, right. And she's terribly partial to the periwinkle blue boys. Have I made myself clear boys?" Turkish: "Yeah, that's perfectly clear Mickey, yeah. Just give me one minute to confer wit...

Tommy: "There's something very wrong about this. It was us that wanted to buy a caravan off of him." Turkish: "Well, why didn't you bust a cap in his ass then, Tommy. Mind you, you'd do more damage if you threw it at him." Tommy: "What, are you saying I can't shoot?" Turkish: "Oh no, Tommy. I wasn't saying you can't...

Cousin Avi: "So, what should I call you? Should I call you "Bullet"? "Tooth"?" Bullet Tooth Tony: "You can call me "Susan" if it makes you happy."

"You using dog shit for toothpaste, Mullet?"

"You people live like animals."

Customs Agent: "Anything to declare?" Cousin Avi: "Yeah, don't go to England."

Joe: "Are you the replacement for the bass and sax?" Daphne: "That's us...and I'm Daphne...and this is - uh - Jo...sephine." Sugar: "I'm Sugar Kane" Joe: "Hi Sugar Kane?" " Sugar: "Yeah, I changed it...used to be Sugar Kowalczyk." Joe: "Polish?" Sugar: "Yes. I come from this musical family...my mother is a piano te...

Jack: "STOP! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!" Driver: "Hey man, this is MY car. I OWN this car. It's not stolen." Jack: "It is now. Move over." Driver: "Shit!.... you scratch this puppy and me and you are gonna have words, you understand?" (tires squeal)"

Ted: "I have to go the bathroom." Harry: "Just go down your leg Ted." Ted: "Really, you can urinate in these?" Harry: "You can, the question is, would you want to."

Ted: "Oxygen is a corrosive gas, in the same family as fluorine and chlorine, hydrochloric acid, hydrofluoric acid. Essentially, that's why we're breathing helium down here. Because oxygen at any level higher than 2.3 becomes toxic." Norman: "Can you run that by me again Ted. I don't speek balloon." Ted: "What, Oh...

Norman: "You know, you seem strangely detached given our predicament." Harry: "I don't know Norman, with all your panic and running around what have you accomplished?" Norman: "You knew I was running around."

Beth: "He didn't tell you what's inside the sphere did he? You didn't tell him did you? You didn't tell him what's inside the sphere." Harry: "And how would you know that Beth?"

Charles Harker: "We need the pross on this like we need a third tit." Muir: "You using the other two?"

"You go off the reservation, I will not come after you."

"You got something to say about the mobile infantry?"

"You kill anything that has more than two legs. You get me?"

"I need a corporal. You're it until you're dead or till I find sombody better."

"I only have one rule: Everyone fights, noone quits. You don't do your job, I'll kill you myself."

"You know something? You two deserve each other. Make nice. You're partners."

Hutch: "Look, I was trying to infiltrate one of the East Side gangs and work my way up to the big fish. It's pretty simple." Captain Doby: "You were robbing a bookie." Hutch: "That's right." Captain Doby: "You've robbed seven bookies over the past six months. You haven't filed a report, turned in any money. You have...

Starsky: "Hey, champ. You got a permit for that weapon you're carrying?" Hutch: "Starsky, please." Leon: "Uh, no, I don't." Lamell (Omar Dorsey): "Yeah, me neither." Starsky: "I'm sorry, did I say something that was funny?" Hutch: "Come on, stop it. He's kidding." Starsky: "No, I'm not kidding. I wanna see some perm...

"That's great. Tell him great job. He can sit down. You were a very convincing dragon. You should feel good about that."

"You cross the line, your nuts are mine."

"You crazy!"

Reese Feldman: "You're making the biggest mistake of your life, clown. You hear me?" Starsky: "No, you're the one making the mistake, pusher man!"

Starsky: "All right, let's get that outfit." Huggy Bear: "Outfit?" Hutch: "Da-Dum." Huggy Bear: "Oh, no, m... You know Huggy Bear wouldn't wear that, man. Y'all gonna have to come up with something better than that. Y'all got to take that shit back to Florida. That ain't me, baby."

"You wanna use my wig guy."

Hutch: "What do you think?" Starsky: "Ah, I love it. Great stuff. Yeah, you look like a... just like a rich cowboy, who came riding in off the farm. Hey, do me a favor. Tip your hat forward. Just tilt it forward, come on." Hutch: "No, I like it where it is." Starsky: "No, seriously, come on. do it. Do it."" Hutch...

Hutch: "You know, the weird thing is, one of those briefcases with $5 million just up and vanished." Huggy Bear: "Hmm." Hutch: "Oh, what is this, a brand new fur coat? Look at this thing." Huggy Bear: "Yeah, I inherited some money from a dead uncle of mine." Hutch: "Is that right? I didn't even know you han an un...

"You know what they say, that which does not kill us makes us stronger."

State Trooper Arcot 'Thorny' Ramathorn: "You know how fast you were going?" College Boy 1: "What?" State Trooper Robert 'Rabbit' Roto: "How fast you were going?" College Boy 1: "Uh, 65?" Thorny: "63." College Boy 1: "Officer, isn't-isn't the speed limit 65?" Thorny: "Yeah, it is."

Thorny: "You smell something, Rabbit?" Rabbit: "(Sniffs the air) Fear."

"You boys like Mexico? Whooo!"

Foster: "(Humming fanfare)" Capt. O'Hagan: "Let me guess. You just humped the mayor's wife and burnt down City Hall."

Lenny: "Yeah, he's got a very pretty girlfriend doesn't he?" Chrissy Thomkins: "Is it serious do you know?" Lenny: "Very Serious. I'm single." Chrissy: "What about the bass player?" Lenny: "He's married."

"You got the number seven record in the country."

"But, I listen to your records and I think you're great. (takes a breath) You are my biggest fan!"

The Jackal: "Let's get this straight. When you finish this unit, you're gonna turn over the plans and any scrap material. You're gonna forget about Charlie Murdock and the tech specs on these plans." Lamont: "Yeah, Shit man I'm cool. Relax."

"What are you gonna do Declan? You just can't seem to protect any of your women. (laughs)"

"You mean I'm gonna stay this color?"

"You know potato head, you just fell for the oldest trick in the book. Bad cop, worse cop."

"Years from now, when you talk about this...and you will...be kind."

"You in the robes, put down the weapon of mass destruction and get on the ground. You're under arrest."

"You lose."

"Hans, you're breaking my balls here. You're breaking my balls."

"You want inspection? Well, inspect that,

Spottswoode: "Team, if the Derka Derkastanis have weapons of mass destruction, I'm afraid it could be 9/11 times 1,000." Sarah: "Jesus, you mean?" Spottswoode: "Yes, nine hundred and eleven thousand."

"You shall have a front row seat. Bring her upstairs."

"One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say, 'Wow. Good going F.A.G. You really made the world a better place, didn't you, F.A.G.?'"

Gary: "Lisa, I'm crazy about you. Will you please forgive me if I--?" Lisa: "Shh. You had me at 'dicks fuck assholes.'"

"You will not live beyond today. That I promise."

"You can't kill the future."

"Yessir Miss Daisy, I be honking."

"Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three vodka tonics."

"Your full name is Charlene Elizabeth Baltimore."

"You're an assassin working for the United States Government."

"You have 24 hours to find her and kill her."

Charly: "Honk if there's any trouble." Mitch: "Yessir Miss Daisy, I be honkin'."

"You know it's getting that decent people can't even go out on the street anymore without scum like you trying to step on whatever's decent in this world. Well you know something? Your type are just gonna be the kind of crap that sticks to the bottom of a good man's loafer."

"You are so twisted."

"(bad guys shoot at him) You missed. You missed again. Not by much though."

"Yeah, you had your fun, and he got his head sent home in a freezer bag."

Tracy Lord: "Only as it happens I'm not interested in myself for the moment." C.K. Dexter Haven: "Not interested in yourself? You're fascinated, Red. You're far and away your favorite person in the world."

C.K. Dexter Haven "Astonishing what money can do for people, isn't it Mr. Conner?" Mr. Conner: "Not too much, you know, just more than enough." C.K. Dexter Haven: "Take Tracy for example. Never a blow that hasn't been softened for her. Never a blow that won't be softened. As a matter of fact, they've even changed he...

"You wanna fix the Special Olympics?"

"Yeah, well, that dream didn't work out too well, now, did it?"

"The guy's wife is dead. You think a guy with no fingers is gonna find another woman? Even worse, when he comes home by himself, he won't even be able to jerk off properly because you robbed that man of his dignity!"

Steve: "(Mark is hitting Steve in the stomach) Hey, guys, how's this helping me win the race?" Thomas: "You know, he raises a good point." Winston: "(Mark hits him one more below the belt line) Special Olympics!"

"You'd love her mom, she looks just like you. Except she's white and blond."

Simon Templar: "You found me." Emma Russell: "It wasn't very hard. Two men with saints' names flew into Moscow yesterday. Udora Bonkenjas the short, bald African. Where as Vincent Ferrer..." Simon Templar: "Named after the saint who betrayed his best friend."

Simon Templar (as old guy): "I'm here to do an interview with that Dr. Russell. I'm here to expose her as a fraud. You don't put any stock in this cold fusion mumbojumbo do you?" Emma Russell: "Actually, I do."

"You know, people seldom go to the trouble of scratching the surface of things to find the inner truth."

Frank Dixon: "You are a citizen of nowhere." Thurman: "Now, even if we could get you new papers, we couldn't process them until the US recognizes your country's new diplomatic reclassification." Frank: "Yeah, see, you don't qualify for asylum, refugee status, temporary protective status, humanitarian parole, or no...

Edward Hyde: "Don't be afraid." Tom Sawyer: "Who says I'm afraid?" Edward Hyde: "You do! You stink of fear!"

"You're sweet and you're young. Neither are traits I hold in high regard."

"You've failed."

"You see yourself as the brave John Bull, buy you're weak."

Greg Meaney: "Hey, Waterboy! Is your girlfriend gonna save you again?" Bobby: "Oh, no, sir. I'm gonna take matters into my own hands. You'll see." Greg Meaney: "Bring it to the hole! You're ass is mine! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!" Bobby: "You sound like a big choo-choo train."

"You can do it! You can do it all night long!"

"You know, there's something immoral about abandoning your own judgment."

Kenny O'Donnell: "The president has instructed me to pass along an order to you. You are not to get shot down." Commander William B. Ecker: "Uh, we'll do our best sir." Kenny O'Donnell: "I don't think you understand me Commander. You are not to get shot down under any circumstances. Whatever happens up there, you ...

Douglas: "I know the truth." Jane Fuller: "Where are you?" Douglas: "You could call it the end of the world."

Douglas: "They are as real as you and me." Whitney : "Yeah, because that's because we, we designed them that way Doug. I mean, but in the end they're just a bunch of electronic circuits."

Jane Fuller: "I fell in love with you before I ever met you." Douglas: "How can you love me? I'm not even real. You can't fall in love with a dream."

Marty: "Your first drummer was, uh?" David: "John Stumpy Peeps. Great, great, tall blonde geek with glasses. Uh..." Nigel: "Good drummer." David: "Great look, good drummer, yeah." Nigel: "Good, good, drummer" David: "Yeah, fine drummer." Marty: "What happened to him?" David: "He died. He died in a bizarre gar...

"You are a coward! You are a coward! You make me sick!"

Gupta: "I had a small tobacco shop in Madras. Made just enough money to survive. One day this policeman comes in and tells me I owe him some tax. I said okay. This is common, so I pay him. But, the next day, the same policeman come and keep coming and keep coming. And I am paying and I'm paying him and I'm paying hi...

"Thank you, Sarah, for your courage through the dark years. I can't help you with what you must soon face, except to say that the future is not set. You must be stronger than you imagine you can be. You must survive or I will never exist. That's all."

Janitor: "Go straight ahead." David: "Yeah." Janitor: "Turn right, the next two corners. And the first door you sign, says authorized personnel only..." David: "Yeah." Janitor: "Open that door. That's the stage." David: "You think so?" Janitor: "You're authorized, you're musicians, arn't you?" David: "Yeah. Al...

John: "You just can't go around killing people!" Terminator: "Why?"

David: "Do you remember what we were-- Do you remember the project..." Derek: "At the Luton-- At the Luton Palace we were talking about writing a rock musical based on the life of Jack the Ripper." David: "Ripper, yeah. Saucy Jack." Derek: "Saucy Jack. Now is the time to do that." David: "You're a naughty one......

Coach Red Beaulieu: "Hey waterboy!" Bobby: "Yes, Mr. Ceach Beaulieu!" Coach Red Beaulieu: "You're fired!" Bobby: "Okay."

Derek: "You know, we've grown musically. I mean, you listen to some of the rubish we did early on, it was stupid." Marty: "Yeah." Derek: "You know, now, with-- I mean, a song like Sex Farm, we're taking a sophisticated view of the idea of sex, you know, and musically..." Marty: "Putting it on a farm." Derek: "Ye...

"You don't have what they call the social skills."

Marty: "Shit sandwich. Umm...." Derek: "Where'd they print that, where'd they print that?" David: "Where did that appear?" Nigel: "That's not real, is it?" Derek: "You can't print that."

Ian: "I mean, what's offensive?" Bobbi: "Ian, you put a greased naked woman..." Ian: "Yes..." Bobbi: "..on all fours..." Ian: "Yes." Bobbi: "...with a dog collar around her neck..." Ian: "...with a dog collar..." Bobbi: "...and a leash..." Ian: "...and a leash..." Bobbi: "...and a man's arm extended out up ...

"You jump - I jump, right?"

Rose: "You have a gift, Jack...You see people..." Jack: "I see you..."

"You're name is needle dick."

"You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything and you don't have to do anything...not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."

"You know you don't have to act with me, Steve."

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?"

Lyle Robideaux: "Want a beer?" Bobby: "I'll take a Scotch and water. Hold the Scotch." Lyle: "You just make a joke, Bobby?" Bobby: "Yes I did." Lyle: "Good one."

Coach Klein: "Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too, idiot." Bobby: "You're-You're-You're drinkin' the wrong water."

"You can do it!"

"You can do it! Ha, ha!"

"You can do it, cut his fucking head off!"

"You know, I hate this place already."

"You're gonna have to shoot me!"

Mark Roberts/Sheridan: "You know, for what it's worth, I'm sorry that I shot you." Sam Gerard: "Oh, that's ok."

"You have me confused with someone else Mister."

"You'll need a copy of my class schedule so you can take notes. You'll also handle my finances. I lecture at the freshman crisis group every other Monday. I'm spearheading the Save the Swim Team Speedo Sectacular and the Bloated Belly Beer Bash to Battle Bulimia this semester."

Worried Freshman: "It's like this itchy, rashy, burning sensation. And it hurts when I..." Van: "Dance?" Worried Freshman: "No, when I pee!" Van: "You hooked up with a burner. Didn't you?" Worried Freshman: "yeah." Van: "She seemed like a nice girl, said it was her first time. Yeah, you should always check the quali...

Rosie: "Oh, Maniac." Maniac: "(grunts)" Rosie: "Fire it up one more time." Maniac: "Oh no Rosie, I think the big Maniac needs time to refuel." Rosie: "Don't I take care of you?" Maniac: "That's a big yes sir." Rosie: "So, what about my needs?" Maniac: "Well, I'm all about your needs sir." Rosie: "Really?" M...

Van: "This is why I don't do interviews. You totally slammed me. You journalists and your irresponsible reporting. " Gwen: "I recorded quotes that you got money from the Lambdas to throw them a party." Van: "Recorded? What are you, bugged? Do I need to frisk you?"

Maverick: "Why didn't you tell me?" Paladin: "You didn't ask."

Van: "You think about the future too much, you kinda forget about the present, obviously. And I am really enjoying the present right now. Sharing a penalty box and a tri-late with Gwen Pearson, who believes that censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself." Gwen: "You actually read that article?" Van:...

"You do and it will be the biggest mistake you ever made you Texas brushpopper."

Sam Gerard: "You have a weapon?" John Royce: "Yeah, a big one, how about you?"

"Yeah listen, we're gonna need boats. Yeah, you know, swamp boats. Like they use in the swamp."

"I know you're not sitting at home with a bag of cash, waiting for me to call you, okay. But I'm not some 18 year old selling a cure for AIDS. I am 46 years old. I have 22 years of market experience. I know this business. So pick up your skirt, grab your balls and let's make some money."

"I don't want you to yell 'reco' anymore. Know what you should yell? 'Timber!' Yeah, Mr. fuckin' wood. I hear you fuckin' makin' your calls. It's bullshit, all right? I mean if you want them off the phone so bad, why don't you just hang up? You should get them excited. You know, excited? They should beg for a broker...

"You know what? You know what? Fuck you! Fuck you!"

"Goddamn it, you fuckin' guys!"

"You lied again, you unbelievable piece of shit."