Cal: It's like this. When I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted the more pot I could ultimately smoke.
Andy: I think I have all the advice that I can handle right now.
Cal: Don't get bitter.
Andy: I'm not bitter. I almost lost a nipple, okay?
Cal: That was Jay's idea, okay? And I wasn't going to say anything, but waxing your chest is like the gayest thing you could possibly do, okay? Look at me. Looks are not important. Really look at me. I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards but I get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
Andy: I am not ugly as fuck.
Cal: I didn't say you were ugly as...
Andy: Well, you implied it.
Cal: Okay. It doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck or you're ugly as shit. It's about talking to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist.
Andy: What? You never told me that before.
Cal: That's because I am not an arrogant prick, Andy.
Cal talks to Andy about planting seeds in a lot of women that may lead to him having sex with one.